Lana's Adventures In Half Priced Books

So I recently went onto another excursion into Half Priced Books. That place is bad for Me. It bleeds money from Me every time I go in, no matter how resolved I am to resist it’s charms. Like a really good hooker. So to combat this I simply pass by all the little nooks and crannies of books and head straight to the back wall where the “Clearance” sign hangs. And there I set up shop.

See I am not awfully picky about what I read. I know some people are rabidly loyal to certain authors… which by the way you all better be to Me when I finally get published! … and I am too. To a certain extent. If I like a writing style I will usually read everything that author has put out. In that way you see them grow and get to know them. Reading an author’s entire work is like a conversation. It’s lovely. Unless of course their style becomes repetitive and formulaic ::coughAnneRicecoughPhillipaGreggorycough:: then I have no issue with cutting them off and ending the conversation. There are plenty of other authors in the bookstore and I am a bit of a book whore. I get around.

Lots of whore analogies in this one folks.

Anywhoo… So there I am in HPB. I’ve fought My way valiantly past all the racks calling My name and have arrived at base camp in The Clearance Zone. Now what I like about TCZ is that the nonfiction is larger than the fiction section. I suppose that means fiction sells better. Blah. Nonfiction rules. There are so many varieties of books that fall under the non fiction category. Cookbooks, self help, space exploration, biographies, chronicles, reference, comics for some reason. The list never ends. It’s fabulous. So the nonfiction rack at HPB in TCZ is a general hodge podge of just about everything. I find some of My favorite books there.

This was a recent find from TCZ that I am actually kicking Myself that I didn’t buy.

When I saw this I burst out laughing. I know, how unPC of Me. But there it is. The Date Rape Prevention Book. I had to check it out to find out if it was a joke. Maybe it was one of those gag books that Spencer’s and Waterbeds sells. I laughed even harder when I saw that it was a real book. And a pretty big one. About 200 pages. Surely, I thought, there can’t be 200 pages worth of tips on how to avoid getting oneself date raped. Was it in list form? Or perhaps a checklist of What Not to do if you would rather not get date raped. Maybe they list all the qualities that end of leading to being date raped. In which case that could be useful information should I decide to engage in some non-con play. At the very least I expected some Martial Artsesque diagrams of how to put down your would be date rapist.

I was sorely disappointed.


As it turns out the book was just a self help guide about building yourself up so you don’t put yourself in a situation where you might end up possibly getting date raped. Read: Do not have sex with nor associate with the opposite sex until you are married at least 5 years and your priest gives the OK. I have to hand it to them. It’s pretty failsafe. That is a solid plan to avoid date rape. However that just seems like pretty weak sauce for such a strong title. Like it belongs in The Really Good Advice To Avoid Getting Date Raped.

Btw I wrote the Cliff’s Notes for this particular book which I am including below. I hope you enjoy!

Cliff’s Notes for The Date Rape Prevention Book.

Don’t drink.