Interesting dream

So I had an interesting dream last night. Ever had a dream where you fetishize/sexualize someone you have never thought of as a sex object? I had one of those last night.

So in the dream I am at a convention. Not a kink convention unfortunately. And not any convention I have attended. Nor was it set at my dream-state generic convention center. This was a VERY detailed dream at a really nice resort. Hell in the dream I even looked around at the place saying, wow! So anyway there I am at a convention for goodness knows what chillin out doing what you do at conventions: meeting people! And I am having a hell of a time doing it! Sitting poolside with a drink that just kept getting refilled and looking pretty damn good. So I am generally enjoying my dream convention.

There are all sorts of celebrities walking around. Was that George Lucas? Was that Joss Whedon? I KNOW that is Mark Hamil!

Anyway, who comes walking up but the creators and writers of Robot Chicken, Seth Green, Matthew Senreich, Breckin Meyer, Mike Fasolo, and maybe a few others. Before I even get a chance to say "you fuckers make me laugh!" they tell me they are fans of MY WORK!!! WTF? But in the dream it seems natural. They must be referring to my books! Great! I tell them what fans I am of their silliness as well. We get to talking (over limitless drinks) and they tell me they are interested in possibly having me come do some writing work on Robot Chicken. I, of course, am geeked! They think it will be a good fit for me, but they would like to get to know me a bit more (read: hang out shit faced) to make sure that I will mesh with their family. Not a problem! Bring it on boys! They give me a room key to their suite where about 20 people are flopping.

This is where it gets a little fuzzy. I know at one point I rode an inflatable boat off a 10th story balcony into the swimming pool possibly with someone riding shotgun. Anyway We're hanging out. We're vibing. We're having a good time.

Somehow I find myself back in the suite. I have a vague recollection of wanting peanut butter but I can't be sure of that. In any case I am standing on the counter looking in the top cabinets. I feel someone come up behind me and hold my ankles to steady me. I don't turn around to see who it is, I am just happy someone will care if I fall on my ass. So I search the shelf to no avail. So I squat down so I can climb off the counter. As I slide down the hands on my ankles slide upward, up my calf's, up my thighs and eventually coming to rest full on my ass where they begin to kneed and caress it. Well I am all for anonymity but I decided to see who was putting the moves on me. My guess was the girl intern I'd been flirting with. So I turn around and who do I see?

Seth Green!

He raises an eyebrow, gives me a come hither look and slowly leans in to kiss me, his hands on my thighs.

And what do I do?

I laugh!!!!! right in his face!

It was really bizarre. I have never sexualized Seth Green so I was completely thrown off kilter when he laid his game down in my dream. And what I can not figure out is why I laughed!! It was hot! Seriously! I woke up a little wet. Had to hash it out with my girlfriend and we came to the conclusion that my subconscious is a cockblocker. Alas.

I told Jason about the dream. He decided it was a premonition of the future. After I have a book or two out I may just find myself at some geektastic convention with the folks of Robot Chicken. And if I do find myself in such a situation that I am under direct orders TO FUCK THE HELL OUT OF THAT LITTLE RED MAN!!!!!!

The moral of the story is this: I am sorry I turned you down Seth! Come back tonight and I will prove it!