A very Happy Saturnalia to you and yours!!!

Or Christmas.. if you must.

Oh hell.. Happy Holidays!!!

Get to bed early or Santa won't allow the baby Jesus to be born for our sins!!!

Ole!!

Saw this pic in a magazine and now I want to go to Spain.

My brush with fame

So My BFF lives in New York. Occasionally I get a text saying something like "Tom Cruise just walked past our table!" or "Morpheus totally stared Me down in the park!"

Well as My husband and I were driving through Mansfield we saw this car. I know you can't see it in the pic but the car on the right at the front of the line had a licence plate that read "D Devito". Heheeeeheee!! We couldnt' see anyone in the drivers seat so we assume it must be Danny! Jason wanted to speed up beside the car so we could see who it was but I told him not to. It's the mystery which inspires the soul. And it is more fun not knowing for certain the Danny Devito does NOT have a personalized Ohio licence plate.

So heres to "The Story". It's all in the way you tell it.

Curling up in front of the.... tv?

I got one of those cheesy fireplace DVDs recently and you know what? I LOVE IT!!! Having grown up with a fireplace in my house I have really missed it since I bought My fireplaceless home. But no more! I took powers into My own hands and have turned Angela (the television) into a fireplace.

For the past 2 weeks I have been making sweet sweet love in front of a roaring fire. I LOVE IT!!!

All I want for Christmas....

are these FANTASTIC CHUCKS!!! I mean, WOW!!! How fantastic is that?! Holy shit!!! I want these fancy chucks!

Don't Ask? Don't Tell? Fuck you!!!

Don't Ask Don't Tell FINALLY REPEALED!!!!!!! Bout damn time, if I do say so Myself.

I was amused watching the back and forth between the religious republican right and the military.

RRR: If we repeal DADT then the military will colapse in upon itself, the world will end, Jesus will not be coming again to save us all, and taxes will raise to accomodate the military's new "Gay budget".

The Military by way of several Generals speaking out: DADT is outdated and serves no purpose to our military personel.

RRR: Ummm... DADT will allow queers to join the military and be OUT ABOUT IT! Where they will no doubt rape all our good straight boys and girls while they try to sleep!

Pentagon: Stop being stupid. DADT is outdated and serves no purpose to our military personel.

RRR: SHUT UP!!!!!


At least that was the Fox News coverage of DADT.

Many props to those who saw how stupid this policy was and voted to repeal it. Even more props to the RRRs who crossed party lines to vote for repeal. And a warm fuzzy FUCK YOU to the ass hats who voted to uphold DADT.

Smothering

I enjoy some forms of edge play. I love to reach inside a mind and fuck with it. I love the reaction when a knife is pressed against unsuspecting skin. I love fire. However there is a form of edge play that I do not engage in: Suffocation.

I have an issue with anyone touching My neck. I need to always know that I am able to breathe. If you try to grab Me by the neck you will most likely find yourself with a throbbing headache because I will fight My way out. The most effective way that I have found is a quick punch to the face. I am not boasting or bragging. I am simply saying that I can NOT engage in any form of denial of breath. I will not do to others that which I am not able to do to Myself.

So that being said, I am now engaging in Smothering.

Funny old world, eh?

My husband and I have sex, a lot. A lot-alot. We push each others limits. Well mostly I push limits, but occasionally he pushes back. Recently he has been pushing his own and by doing so, pushing Mine.

It started a few weeks ago. I was on top riding My way towards My 5th orgasm of the evening. Now after I've cum a few times I get a bit weak in the knees. So when the 5th orgasm of the night ripped through Me I found Myself collapsing forward. Where I settled ended up with My tits pressed quite tightly into My husband's face. I am sporting some Dolly Parton sized boobs and when I looked down I saw that his face had completely disapearred beneath My bosom. I freak because My husband has serious closterphobia. I don't want to send him into a panic attack so I try to pull Myself off of him. However, to My suprise he snakes his arms around My back and pushes Me even further into him. Then his hips start bucking and he rides Me from beneath. After a few seconds he cums yelling into My breasts.

You know Me, I am a communication slut so once he regains his breath I begin checking in to make sure he is ok. Once I am sure he is fine he tells Me that he really enjoyed it. I ask why and wasn't it closterphobic. He told Me that he didn't know why. It was an in the moment thing and no his closterphobia didn't play up. He said he liked the feeling of being enveloped by My tits, of not being able to breathe, of being able to open his mouth and have My breasts fill them. He also made the point that he would not like it to be folded into our regular sex life, but maybe on special occasions we could give it another try.

Flash forward to the next night. This time he is on top riding Me like a rodeo and what does he do but face plant into My tits.

A week later we are fucking and I have My hand wrapped through his hair. On impulse I grab him roughly by the back of the neck and press his face into My breasts. Immediatly the intensity of the bucks of his groin doubled. He was jackhammering so hard I felt it in My teeth.

So O/our "once in a while" thing had turned into a fairly regular occurance. Not every time but it is getting to be every other or so. It's not for very long but it is signifigant.

Last night after he tore up My pussy W/we were enjoying the afterglow and talking. I told him I couldn't believe this was something he was into. He said he couldn't either. And he brought up a point I had not thought of before. I enjoy a very similar form of what he is enjoying now. I love when I lay down on the bed, he gets atop Me and shoves his cock all the way down My throat till I can't breathe. I just love the feeling. So indavertantly I have been lieing this whole time by saying that I do not involve Myself in suffocation/breath play. I enjoy it. My husband enjoys it. It's a good time all around.

Having said that I would not enjoy this with anyone else. I trust My husband implicitly and that is what it is all about.

But oh, isn't it fun!Especially when something you have conicdered as off limits suddenly becomes an option. Woohoo!!!

Sub Report

So I have been passively looking for a sub while Mine is overseas. I have had little to no success. I am very rigid in what I am looking for and am unwilling to settle for less that exactly what I want. So 99 out of every 100 requests I get end up being told "Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately...." right off the bat.

I seem to be attracting military men lately though. And we all know that I do like the military boys. They come pretrained and follow orders very well. So right now I am concidering a current Marine, former airforce and former navy. I have to say that I really like the idea of the different brances of service being My different branches of service. Maybe I will change My monicer to General Mistress. Or maybe I will find an Indian, Cop and Cowboy and make them do the YMCA as a form of humiliation play. So many possibilities. So many.

Bottom line I have no idea if any of them will pan out. You know Me. I don't believe shit until it is proven to Me. So you can tell Me until you are blue in the face that you are service oriented. Until you have spent some time sweating for Me, I just don't believe you. With a little luck.... but this is Me not holding My breath. Fingers crossed though.

My husband told Me that if I getanother sub then I will need to have a photo taken. Me in the middle, My husband beside Me, My subs on the ground at My feet. Yes. Yes that will work.

Though there is one person rooting against a new sub. My current. He understands why I am seeking someone else however he is upset that it can't be him on his knees serving Me. Poor boi.

Do NOT plan on seeing me April 29th 2011

I will be busy April 29th so do not plan on seeing me! No, I am not planning a big Arbor Day party. I will be busy getting hammered and watching the Royal Wedding of Prince William. I am unreasonably excited about the upcoming nuptuals. I was a bit young to really be excited about Charlie and Di. Plus they weren't exactly the same as young William and Kate. So my plans for April 29th: Dress up and watch wedding. Apply alcohol copiously.

It's a SUPRISE party!!!!

Unfortunately I was not able to make it to the most recent AIS party :( However I was able to have a whole heap of fun in it's stead. My lady love is joining the rest of us in the 30 age bracket (much to her shagrin). Her sister and I planned a suprise party. Emphasis on suprise.

I have been involved in several suprise parties over the years, however something always went wrong and the person got hip to our plans. Not in this case. Sarah was clueless. My husband and I were the lures for this particular plot. We took her out to our favorite chinese restaurant. While there Sarah did a fair amount of bitching about how much her sister sucks b/c she was busy that day and she didn't have time for Sarah. Which was highly amusing to us, of course. Her sister and I had arranged that about halfway through the dinner she would call Sarah and tell her she needed Sarah to drop something off to her at her boyfriend's (the party location). Well we didn't factor in that Sarah didn't plan on answering her phone. After several frantic txts between me and her sister, her sister called my phone and I put Sarah on. She was still resistant but in the end I convinced her to go over for a minute and then we would get back to the fun we had planned for her place. heeheehee. So we head over to the party.

Sarah was actually in the door for a solid 2 minutes before she noticed th ehouse was full of people. Once she noticed the people everyone yelled Suprise!!! Sarah was SOOOOOO suprised. It actually took her a bit to realize what was going on. She couldn't believe it. So it ended up being a fantastic night with much alcohol consumed by many a friend of my lady love. I made sure all the vodka was safe. What can I say, I am a service top drunk! :)

Happy Birthday Babe!

Goodbye for now boi

My boi heads back over seas today. :(

Be safe, boi. Come back whole.

New Boots!!!!!!

I got new boooooooootttssss!!!!!!! And I am unreasonably happy about them. So good!!! So, sooo good. My boi was upset he didn't get to oil them up. Poor boi. My husband/property got the honors and I am a very very happy girl. Have I mentioned I am happy! And excited! And happy! Oh goodness am I happy!!!! Happy New Boots Dance!!!!

Gobble Gobble

So hopefully by now most people are aware that the whole "first thanksgiving story" we were taught in school is bullshit. No pilgrims and indians putting genocide aside and sharing some yummy deep fried turkey. However there is nothing wrong with taking a day to acknowledge what you are thankful for. In that spirit, if you are reading this I am thankful for you.

Big hugs!

Now get the hell out my way.... it's turkey time!

Welcome home

My boi is stateside on leave!

This is your birthday song! It isn't very long!

Today my baby turns 10. WTF? Where did the time go?

Many happy returns my beautiful girl!


Lily with Sarah Palin/George W. Bush/or any other evil Republican.

Therapy

As I have told you I am in the process of filing bancruptcy. Today I spent a few hours tracking down all the errant bills that have accumulated and tonight we burned them. I feel better.

Update

Hiya kiddies! Gather round for Lana's Fun Time Hour!

It's been a while, I know. Whoever wants to spank Lana for her naughty neglect, the line forms to the right.

I have been busy and depressed in equal measures.

Busy wise I have been well...busy. Lots going on.

I am finally getting aroudn to fileing bancruptcy, which I have needed to do for a long long while now. It feels good to be doing it. It will feel even better once the forms are filed and we are on our way.

I am working a couple of craft fairs to try to bring in the christmas cash.

Mostly though I have been writing. Which is a wonderful turn of events. I have been rather blocked for quite a while now. So finally after much discussion with my wonderful husband I have been able to get the juices going. I was trying to internalize the whole of my stories and it took my husband pointing out to me that I do not write well under those circumstances.I work best when I discuss with my husband and a few trusted friends, the different thought processes I have in relation to the stories I am writing. When I keep everything bottled up then the flow of ideas tends to get stuck. Not so much dry up but I end up overthinking and over reaching. So now Jason is getting back to our daily reviews of what I am working on and I am able to better guage where I am in the story. And it makes me quite happy. Nothing makes me as happy as creating a (hopefully) good, compelling story.

Depression wise... The recent elections really kicked my ass. None of it was unexpected. I even had a Dairy Milk bar ready for the oncoming depression. It just didn't work. Seeing the country swing so far back to the right frankly scares me. Looking ahead towards the 2012 elections is damn near terrifying. I am trying my best to keep my head above water regarding politics but it is not easy.

Also, my daughter is turning 10. Sigh. Even though I knew when she turned 9 that she was halfway to 18 which is the age of "I'm leaving and never coming back" it didn't really hit me then. I cried a bit, but then I ususally do as the kid grows. But something about turning 10 feels different. She is on the verge of rounding the corner from childhood to adolesence. This is evident from her ample additude and my increasing stupidity (in her eyes). We but heads more often. We fight more often. And with my depressive nature I am afraid that these will be the only moments she remembers from her childhood. I can only hope that I have added enough good in there to try to at least counterbalance the bad. But it is so sad to think that my little girl (and yes she will always be my little girl) is going to no longer be so little. So 10 is a bit hard for me. I'm tearing up a little just talking about it. I take a lot of comfort in the fact that in a lot of ways she is still a kid. She isn't pushing towards adulthood the way a lot of her classmates are. She still loves to play. At Octoberfest even though her friends kept begging her to come play with them she chose to stay with my husband and I, holding hands. But how much longer... ah well.

The approaching season is always difficult for me. Thanksgiving sucks ass for me. Years past I was told at the door of my family's thanksgiving celebration that I was not welcome. I spent that year crying at home on my own. Since then that always rings in my head whenever I go to Thanksgiving. Christmas isn't too bad but the New Years always kicks my ass. Not I-drank-too-much type of kicking my ass, but the what-the-fuck-have-I-done-with-my-life type of ass kicking.

On top of that I don't get to go to the AIS 4C party. :( No play dates for Lana.


So enough of that for now. I am surviving. There are even things that make me happy. To the outside observer you would not be able to tell that everything wasn't hunky dorey. It's the inside that has the creeping darkness that I am trying to keep at bay. So I spend time with the people I love (who are local), watch funny shows (Thank you Community and Modern Family), and have taken up coloring again. So onward I go.




***UPDATE TO THE UPDATE***
As I was sitting here a little teary my daughter came around the corner and made me laugh so hard I cried the good tears. I love my daughter!

Thank you Vets

For Veteren's Day I got an email and a snail mail letter from my current favorite veteren, My sub. He will be coming back into town at the end of the month on 2 weeks leave so I will get to see him again. Ya!!




To My sub, my dad, my grandfathers, my uncles, my aunt, my cousins, my friends and all of the other veterens of our Armed Services: Happy Vet's Day! Even if you fought for a country that now makes Justin Bieber movies. :)

Much love to you!

Sigh...

The election results are in and my cadbury dairy milk bar isn't even helping. Sigh. California, I am VERY disapointed in you. Rest of the country.... Sigh.

I was having lunch with My family when I saw this fantastic picture hanging right above us. It is a great picture of two women about to sip from the same glass. Very hot. Wish I had a copy.

Happy Halloween!

I hope you had a devilishly good time! I layed low this Halloween. Don't let that confuse you. I still had a fan-fucking-tastic time. Emphasis on fucking. My daughter went off to kill someone (Murder Mystery) which left us flying solo. So after a delicious steak dinner we settled in for the last scary movie of the season and a whole lot of slap and tickle. I was a horney little devil.
:)

Sunday was Trick or Treat. Of course we live in the bible belt so T-o-T takes place on Sunday (presumably to offset the evil) from 2-4 pm. Right in the middle of the day. Ugh. But this year I used that to My costuming advantage. This year both Jason and I went as Vampires ala Twilight. That's right, we covered ourselves in enough glitter to make a stripper blush and looked as lame as possible. T
Unfortunately the glitter just doesn't come through in the pictures.
his amused Me. It also terrified 2 small children. Neither would get candy from Me. the first was about2 and she just scream "Shiny!" and ran the other way. The other was 4 and screamed "Vampire!" and ran. Both made Me happy. The teenage girls screeched too but in a delighted Oh-My-God-Why-Didn't-I-Think-Of-That kind of way.

All in all a great Halloween. I hope yours was spooktacular!

Mistress at the Movies Splice

I am not sure this is exactly a horror flick but I thought it was when I picked it up, so we will just go with it.

Splice is the story of genetic engineers run amuck. They go against the rules and splice together animal and human DNA. But then they go the extra step of implanting that DNA in an embryo and then bringing that embryo to term. And what do you think happens? It all goes very very wrong. I am sure the Republican Party will be using this as a reference when protesting the use of stem cells in the not too distant future.

This wasn’t too bad of a flick. Definitely not the greatest I have seen but far from the worst. The main problem with this movie was that it was a bit slow. And then once it gets going it jumps quickly to the realm of the extreme. That being said it was still fun to watch and there were some pretty cool shots. The creature that they create is interesting and uniquely creepy. I still hear the weird dolphin call noises she was making. And hey, if you have ever wanted to see Adrian Brody playing a punk influenced genetic biologist, well here you go.

Mistress at the Movies It

It’s October which means that it is scary movie month in Mistress Lana’s household. Unfortunately there aren’t that many scary movies out at the moment. A few stragglers from last year plus a few new releases, but no where near a month’s worth. So I decided that we need to dive into the old school horror. I missed a lot of these films owing to My mother’s belief that “those kind of films don’t need to be in your consciousness.” Apparently were I to have seen Nightmare on Elm Street my consciousness would have manifested a real Freddy who would have killed Me. And Me explaining that that was the plot of that movie did not strengthen My case. Consequently I have missed out on a lot of the classic horror flicks. I am working to remedy that.

Jason was a big fan of the Stephen King flicks so he was excited to start the month out with It, which terrified him as a kid. I was eager to see what all the hub bub was about.

I was disappointed.

I will start this out by saying to everyone who is shocked and grasping their chests in utter disbelief, that I am sure that if you saw it when it first came out or when you were younger it probably scared the shit out of you. Creepy clown killing kids. That is good source material. I am a fan of Tim Curry in all circumstances. I saw several familiar faces that I haven’t seen in a while. John Ritter, Jonathan Brandis (I used to have a poster of him on My wall), a very young Seth Green. However after the initial flush of recognition I settled into a deep disappointment with the movie.

This movie just seemed too dated for Me. Every bit of the costuming, hair, makeup, set design and camera style were time specific. Fortunately we have learned from our collective early 90’s mistakes and have run fleeing from the huge hair and poofy sleeves. But this movie was a time capsule to the point of being distracting. In this way the movie was simply of victim of being made when it was. It does not translate to a 30 year old woman living in 2010. The acting seemed over the top. The camera work seemed sloppy. It just did not float My boat.

I was disappointed.

Mistress at the Movies Dead Girl

So Horror movie month rolls on with Dead Girl, a movie that poses the important questions: 1. “What would you do if you found a somewhat hot, somewhat docile, zombie chained to a bed in an abandoned mental hospital?” 2.“What to do when you find out that your best friend isn’t just a ‘bit dark’ but is in fact a full fledged psychopath who uses a zombie as a sex slave?” and number 3“Can you have a main character who is the actual definition of the term ‘Emo’?”

For Me the answers are: 1.Shoot it in the head. 2. Shoot him in the head. And 3. Yes, but why on earth would you want to?

I will give it this, as someone who spends a lot of time in the “zombie apocalypse” mindscape I feel I have some authority to say that the team responsible for this definitely found a unique perspective to offer up to the zombie universe. And it wasn’t even that bad of a horror flick. More of a mind fuck than actual horror. The camera work was good. And even the inane premise posed questions. But in the end I guess I have been trained too much in regards to finding a zombie. You kill it. That is how My training goes. End of story. Zombie equals the possibility for more zombies. Therefore you put it down. Head shots only (no need to waste ammunition) and always double tap. In no circumstances do you keep a zombie as a sex slave. Call Me old fashioned but I certainly wouldn’t be interested in a zomb-gina no matter how readily available it was. There are plenty of real live people who are more than happy to fill that roll should I find Myself in need of a sex slave. Most would probably even let Me lock them away in an abandoned mental hospital. Well maybe not, but defiantly for the scene.

This definitely wasn’t the worst movie I have seen. I was fairly intrigued the whole way through, and hey, if you ever wanted to see Robert Patinson’s younger brother give his brand of lameness to a zombie flick this might just be the movie for you.

Mistress at the Movies Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

When My husband and I were discussing our picks for Horror Movie Month We decided to give a few of the older gals a whirl. In that spirit I told Netflix to bring Me Nightmare on Elm Street (original). Netflix told Me ‘Sure, but you will have to wait.’ Never one for anything other than immediate gratification I ran down to the Family Video. No luck. Old School Nightmare was long since stolen. However I did find the remake on the new release shelf. Why not?

I could not stand this movie.

I am an overall fan of Freddy in all his incarnations. I am more of Jason girl but I respect Freddy. I am far too big a fan of mind tricks not to give Freddy his props. And for My money Freddy’s theme song is timeless. But this was not Freddy.

Robert Englund did not dawn the striped sweater once more. Instead Jackie Earle Haley stood in. First problem, he is not imposing enough of a figure. Robert had some height to him. Jackie Earle Haley does not. Then there was the fact that Jackie Earle Haley ’s portrayal of Freddy sounded a LOT like Rorschach to the point of being distracting. There was no new story here. Just a rehashing of the old material. There were many CGIed scenes that looked ridiculously out of place. There was no suspense of any kind. One of My favorite parts of a Freddy movie is that obligatory scene where the lead has gotten away and is hiding from Freddy (like that would work). Does Freddy bolt after them? No. He follows behind slowly running his glove along metal making that wonderfully spine tingling metal on metal screech. This incarnation could not even deliver that. Instead of having the simple sound which is terrifying enough on its own, the director opted to have Freddy’s glove sparking against the metal. Ugh.

A big disappointment, sadly.

Mistress at the Movies Mum and Dad

Having gone through most of the list of movies we wanted to see I decided to give a couple of horror flicks I had never heard of a whirl. A few… Not so much. But a couple were well worth the trouble.

One of them was Mum and Dad.

Chances are you have never heard of this flick either so let Me give you the run down.
Our lead starts work at Heathrow Airport where she meets another cleaner. After work the other girl and her brother take our lead home with them (as she missed her bus). And then all hell breaks loose. I want to tell you more but then again I don’t want to ruin it for you should you decide to check it out. Suffice it to say that this is a movie where Stockholm syndrome is the goal.

Now it isn’t a psychological drama though there are quite a few psychological aspects to it. This is a gory, gross drama with overtones of more.

I really enjoyed it. And I am not usually one for gory. I stopped watching the Saw franchise after the second. This was better by far that Saw 2. I would say almost on a level with the first Saw. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

Mistress at the Movies Paranormal Activity 2

Hey kids! It's October! Which means it is time for Horror Movies!!!!

Whaaat? A new release? Yes, that is how much I enjoyed Paranormal Activity 1. So when I saw there was a sequel I decided to pony up the dough and go check it out. Tis the season.

Going into the movie I have to say that I was apprehensive. As someone who enjoyed Blair Witch (And isn’t afraid to say it) I remember how gut wrenching it was to go see Blair Witch 2. It was just terrible. I was afraid this might be a similar situation. I am happy to report that it was not.

For those of you who didn’t see Paranormal Activity here’s the skinny. Couple are having weird things happen at night so boyfriend decides to set up a camera and record. The movie is presented as that footage. Paranormal Activity 2 is the same concept only with slight twists. This time it’s a family who is welcoming home a beautiful baby boy. The elder daughter films a lot of this excitement with a handheld camera which is the only viewpoint up until they come home to find that someone had trashed their house. So they invest in a security system that includes a but load of cameras.

What I like about this type of movies is that they feel so raw. If you can suspend your disbelief for a couple of hours and just watch the movie as if it were true, it really can scare the bejesus out of you. For really real yo. There was one scene that caused the entire theater to jump about 3 inches out of their seats. And in the end that is what I am looking for in My Halloween movies. I want to be entertained and a bit scared. This movie delivered on both those counts.

I know it has been a while. I have been productive lately though so it's all good. I will be updating for real, soon. Possibly even tomorrow. Until then send Me good vibes and wait on pins and needles. :)

Whaaa?

New rumors that the villan for Batman 3 will be Killer Croc. I would be thrilled if this were the case. He is one of the lesser used villans and I think a great story could be told with him that the general pop isn't overly familiar with. Oh I am excited!

Look! In the sky... it's a bird! No! It's a plane! No! It's....

Mountain Dew Man!!!


My husband's secret identity is revealed!

In honor of Master Chris and pupslave keith who turned Me green as Mt. Dew Man's pants by going to ComicCon.

A pleasant suprize!

Unexpected letter from My sub overseas. Much goodness!

It's the Great Pumpkin!!!

This is what passes for a pumpkin patch these days. An uncut section of lawn that pumpkins are periodically placed in. WOOHOO!! Just like I remember as a kid.

That's right I took the fam out to pick up our Halloween pumpkin. It took a while with many bouts with GIANT spiders, but in the end we got a good one. Got to play with the goats a bit and get a good look at the indoor beehive. Always a good time.

I love this time of year!

R.I.P. Deadwood Daddy

Over the weekend Otto Sonnie Feasle continued on his journey. Today he will be laid to rest.

Sonnie is father to Sarah whom I love. I have known Sonnie for 15 years now and love him very much. He always had something intellegent to say that would crack you up. He had a wicked sense of humor and a great perspective on life, as evidenced by his impressive handlebar mustache. He will be missed dearly by all those who were lucky enough to know him.

Here's to you Sonnie! See you on Boot Hill.

New York state of mind

Hey buckeyes! I return to the Heart of it All! (insert applause here)

That is right. I am back after spending the weekend with Master Christopher and pupslave keith. These are my favorite people on earth! I just love them. So I use the Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon in NYC as a cover to go spend the weekend with them. I don't actually need a reason. I would go if they invited Me to take out the trash. :)

The drive out Friday was rather uneventful, which is a good thing. The leaves were just begining to change so we had a bit of a natural show. Sadly, no skunk ape sightings in NJ. Damnit! I will see the legendary New Jersey Devil eventually! We did bring a rainbow to NYC, which was beautiful. I rarely see a full arc rainbow. So I took a pic.



We arrived in NYC (after a harrowing experience on the GW Bridge) and scooped up an excellent parking space directly across the street from keith and Chris'. If you have ever driven in NYC you will appreciate our good fortune in that and understand why it is blog noteworthy. :) Once we arrived we fell ravenously on Grandpa's pizza, NY's BEST pizza. YUM! and then we had one or two (or 5-12) drinks while we indulged in My favorite activity when I am with these two: we talked. We talked to the wee hours of the morning and then fell into bed. Before we hit the hey keith gave Me a bday present of 2 books on Shabari. I can't wait to read through them and see if I can make sense of them. :)

Unfortunatly My husband is usually My DD so he doesn't have the endurance for marathon drinking and was thus handicapped the following day. But after a few hours he was right as rain. We played some games, talked some more and drank. Who could ask for more? Once the sun went down we played a few games and had a good time. I must say it will be a while before the pirate, witch and elmo will get out of My head! And it was incredably funny to Me to have Master Chris barking at pupslave keith. Oh good times! :) I also got to give an intro to fire to pupslave keith who seemed to enjoy it. I have been telling him about fire for years so I was glad to finally get to show them in real context what it was all about.

Sunday we had to get up early to head to the Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon. The day went well and we had a great time. I offered My new blend of leather scented bath salts so it was fun getting to pick out the kinky folks who flocked to that scent. Even made a few new friends. :)

All in all the weekend was over far too quickly, as reflected by the weather when we left. All cloudy and a littly weepy. Much like Me. However I am a firm believer in quality over quantity, and the time we had was definately quality.

Many thanks to Master Christopher and pupslave keith for inviting us into their home again. I love you two more than I can say. It is an absolute pleasure to spend time with such authentic people. People who do not justplay with their lifestyle. People who live it. I love you both!

New York Ho!!!!

I'm off to NYC to see 2 of My favorite people! If you are local come see Me at the Fort Tryon Medieval Festival Sunday!

See the rest of you when I get back!

The Curse is Upon Us!!!!!!

I have discovered an absolutely amazing vodka! Pinnacle Whipped Vodka. It is whipped cream flavored and is one of the best things I have ever put in My mouth! So good you can drink it by itself and not pull the vodka face. YUM!!!! I picked up a bottle which may or may not be a great idea. though at the moment it seems a stellar idea! Regardless it gives Me an opportunity to break out My FANTASTIC shot glasses. I got these at an old school antique shop. They are authentic prohibition era shot glasses. Apparently someone thought it would be a good idea to campaign for prohibition by putting their slogans onto shot glasses. Slogans like "The Curse is Upon Us!" and "Goodbye Mr. Booze!" (which I say everytime I take a drink). On the back it says "Vote Dry!" Genius! I snapped them up when I saw them. So I am double happy. Drinking yummy vodka out of My anti-drinking shot glasses. A good time was had by all!

8...9...TENS!!!

This weekend I held a garage sale. Had my parents bring their crap over to sell. Well today I packed up early as it was cold and overcast and noone was coming. So as I am being laborous I hear my husband say "What's a TENS unit?" to which I about wrenched my back I whipped around so quickly saying "Whhhhaaaat?" He holds out a little black pouch which has an old little TENS unit. Lana did the happy dance.


One problem. I know NOTHING about TENS units. I know this isn't a great (nor probably a good) one and is older than Marky Mark's acting career but it is free and it works so, again, Lana does the happy dance. And thus I reach out to you, the wonderful people of the kinky world.

It is an Alpha Stim 100 Microcurrent Stimulator. It had some 2 inch diameter Reusable Self Adhering TENS/NMES/FES Electrodes and some TENS Clean-Cote Protective Skin Dressing Wipes. So my question is what else do I need? Where does one buy new electrodes? How do I use this dealy? Can I get new electrodes to work with it as it is a dinosaur? The online instruction guide says it came with probes but those seem to be MIA. Should I get the ones I found online?

Anyone up for giving me a crash course in old microcurrent stimulator?

Help me kinky TENS people! You're my only hope!

Heheheee

M/s in the animal kingdom

What day is it?

MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! WOOT!!!!

C.O.P.E. report

What did you do this weekend? Well I invented a new fetish. But more on that later.

This weekend I was privileged to be on staff for the Adventure In Sexuality’s 2010 Central Ohio Perversion Excursion (C.O.P.E.). and what a weekend it was. I honestly can say that I had a metric fuck-ton of fun. I played hard and long, I connected with new friends and reconnected with old ones, I added a couple of new skills to My menu, I was witness to something truly beautiful and highly meaningful, and I was reminded of why I find myself at home in this community.

Now you have 2 options. The short story or the long one. I warn you, when I say long, I mean it. So if you don’t have 10 minutes to kill then you might just want to stop after the short story. You have been warned.

Short Story
I had a fantastic weekend. Absolutely amazing. I got to play with 6 gorgeous girls setting them ablaze. I even got to sacrifice one to the fire gods. I got My shoulders steam rolled by a Monkey King. I got to hang out with good friends I haven’t seen in a while. Every joint and muscle that aches today is completely and utterly worth it.

Long Story.

Friday

As I said I am staff so My convention doesn’t start at check in. It starts some 6 hours earlier when we arrive at the hotel to set up. And set up is a good illustration of why I love WIITWD. It’s a lot of work but the work is being shared by a FANTASTIC group of people who go into it with the mind set and with no other purpose but to prepare a space of all accepting, all consuming enjoyment. The work gets done and before you know it, it is time to get the show underway.

I was honored to host the Meet-N-Greet again this con. I perverted an age old standard ice breaker for the game. I have no idea what the game is called but it’s the one where you have a card taped to your back. You then have to go around asking people questions in the first person until you can guess what is on the card. I had 3 categories; Roles, Toys, and Types of Play. I really can’t tell you how amusing it was to hear the questions being asked. “Can you stick me in your ass?” was My favorite. When a player guessed correctly they came back to Me for a new card. And most of them would come up and say what their card was when they got a new one. I had the best seat in the house as I had 75 people coming to Me randomly saying things like “I am a dildo.” “I am a fuck machine.” “I am fisting.” Let Me tell you it wasn’t hard to enjoy the hour. I was really nervous that the game wouldn’t go over and had even brought a back up game (Kinky Bingo) but I am glad to say that it went down a smash. So much laughing. So much frivolity.

Molina Williams, Ms. International Leather 2010, was our keynote speaker and she not only kept us in stitches but also hit us with some message about being thankful for the freedom we enjoy in this country to do WIITWD. She is a commanding presence and smoking hot.

Then it was off to the races. It had taken Me a little longer getting ready than I had anticipated. I didn’t hit the dungeon till 11. Though when I did arrive I had a few lovely ladies ready and eager for Me to light their fire. Miss Honey got the full treatment though sadly Cheri only had time for a quickie before having to jet. After that I was able to connect with a very beautiful and very naked Ladysub. This is a big deal because we have been trying to hook up for a couple of cons now. Finally we were both free at the same time. I thought we would be foiled by the late hour and lack of tables however she’s a resourceful gal that Ladysub. She brought her own massage table. So we headed back to her room with her partner Drake. (Forgive me Drake if I got your name wrong.) I even got to give him a crash course in how to do fire play and lucky Ladysub she had 2 fire wands working her.

It was a very good day.

Saturday

Peach and I got up extra early and hit the pool. I believe brisk was the word she decided the swim and that is quite apt. but it is sure is worth it. After the night before My ankle was swollen and painful so it helped to get the pressure off and get it moving again. Plus Peach is just a great chick to hang out with. We had a great time talking and she even did My nails.

Pam looking great in the vinyl dress I made her.

I attended 1 class which was “The Finer Points of Pain and Pleasure” presented by Fifth Angel. My goodness was it great! It was all on pressure points. Instead of just pointing them out or showing where they were he showed us what they did. Those poor demo dollys were flopping around this way and that screaming and moaning their little heads off. And they loved every minute of it. It was great to see the practical application of the points as well as seeing how long they can be held. Fifth Angel was incredibly funny as well.

After that I co-hosted the Queer Meet-N-Greet with the wonderful Ateavey. We had a good turn out with quite a few new faces. Many thanks to those who baked the yummies! Cupcakes, muffins, cookies! Oh My! Unfortunately I was called away half way through so I didn’t get to have dinner with them but I still had a nice time while I was there.

Closing announcements brought a couple of delightfully unexpected surprises. A 1/3 of our Silent Auction goes to the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom. This year our “Special Drawing” (Can’t call it a raffle) raised over $400 for the NCSF. Before the drawing someone shouted out the suggestion to auction off the first tickets to Winter Wickeness to benefit NCSF. Barak and Sheba thought it was a brilliant idea and decided to do it right then. The action wasn’t up to standards so British Lucky Paul took over. The tickets got turned into a V.I.P. all inclusive weekend. 3 tickets to WW (numbers 1, 2 and 3), hotel room, all meals provided, the option to be spanked or not by British Lucky Paul, a bottle of chilled champagne, a set of floggers donated by one of our fantastic vendors, a signed copy of Laura Antoniou’s (who is key noting WW) newest book, and a bowl of all blue M&M’s waiting in the room when you get there. There might have been more. All I know is that it is an EXCELLENT package. The bidding went crazy for this. The final bid was $1100. And since the runner up bidders were so eager Barak and Sheba ended up letting them have the same package (badge numbers 4, 5, and 6) for their last bid of $1060! How amazing is that?


Everyone gathered were privlidged enough to be witnesses for the Covering Ceremony of one of our local leaders of the leather community; Dan (of Dan and dawn the Great Lakes Master and slave 2010). Not being a part of the leather community (I’m more leather community adjacent) I have not been witness to any of the initiates or ceremonies of the leather life style so I was very curious about what went on. It was utterly beautiful. I rarely cry at the things girls are supposed to cry at: weddings, funerals, births, etc. I had to fight My way through this though. Master Dan has been nothing but nice to Me. Always quick with a smile and hug. Always interested and engaging. As is His slave, dawn. And even further reflected by all of House Metta. Even to the outside observer it is clear to see how well T/they compliment one another. How this is not a game to get them off. This is not something they do because it turns their crank. This is who T/they are. This is how T/they live. It is beautiful and authentic. And it was moving to see Master Dan honored by his peers.

After that I got changed and ventured into the play space. Almost immediately I ran into Lexical. She was very proud of herself because she was pushing her limits and actively seeking out play dates for the evening. I offered her fire and she was very happy to accept. I did her nice and slow. I am not sure if it was her first time. I think maybe she had done it once before so I can’t say that I sacrificed her to the fire gods. She was fabulous. Sexy as hell and oh, so responsive. She purred like a kitten. Mmm. That scene attracted Paula’s interest as well as Abigail’s. Unfortunately I had run out of alcohol but having such gorgeous women asking if they can get naked for Me, I decided to run across the street to Kroger and get some more. Abigail very kindly offered that her husband who was slightly more appropriately attired could go pick it up if I would set her on fire after Paula. To which I was more than happy to agree to. While we waited we got to watch some fabulous scenes. Lots of flash cotton. Some Tens units at work. And a great fuck scene. It actually had one of the best lines I heard of the evening. Bottom on gyno table is getting fucked by the hot Ateavey. When bottom girl starts moaning and asking permission to cum, Ateavey says “Go ahead.” And then pulls her dick out and steps back to watch bottom girls hips bucking, her moans turning to despair. It was hot. When Abigail’s husband arrived back with the supplies I got to explore Paula.

This is when I discovered a new fetish. Fire tickling. Paula is not ticklish. Or so she claimed. Every time I ran the wand down her side she became highly ticklish. It was so delightful to see her squirm. Wriggling and giggling. I couldn’t help but keep it up. Eventually I took pity on her and let the rest of her get a taste of the My flame. Judging from the moans she enjoyed it.

After that the oh so patient Abigail climbed onto My table. And finally I got to sacrifice a virgin to the fire gods. She was a little apprehensive at first but that disappeared about 2 seconds after her skin was set ablaze. Then it was all moans and sighs of pleasure. And I discovered that she, who similarly says she is not ticklish, fell victim to the Flaming Tickleatrix (That’s Me!). Mwahahahaa!

Finally I put My fire kit away and headed to the social area where I encountered a certain Monkey King. Monkey did that voodoo that he do so well. Ok poor grammar I know, but proper grammar doesn’t rhyme. He used his Koga tools to break through the knots in My shoulders. And by knots I mean granite. Nothing, short of sex, feels that good. Even today I can feel deep in My muscle where he was hitting My pressure points. I got permission from him that when I take over the world he will allow Me to clone him and keep the clone in My closet so I can have clone-him come out and work with his koga tools anytime I need it.

After that I was pretty done in. I gathered My stuff and loaded up the car only to find out that I was out of anti-inflamatories and pain meds for My ankle. This necessitated Me headed not to My lady love’s house to crash but the much longer drive north to My house. However I made it safe and sound and once I was in My own bed I thought it was well worth the bleary eyes drive.

It was a fantastic weekend. Many thanks to everyone who made it so wonderful. Unfortunately time was simply too short and I did not get to do all the scenes I had planned. So to deb, Peach, and Cheri, I promise I will make it up to you. To everyone else, buy a ticket to Winter Wickedness and come see how fantastic it is in the AIS bubble.

C.O.P.E. Here I come!!!!

Mistress at the Movies

Crying Ladies

This is a Pilipino film which was a new experience for Me. Parts of it were in English. Parts of it were in Filipino and parts of it were in Chinese. I must say that I did enjoy this movie.

The main character, Stella, is hired to be a professional mourner at a Chinese funeral. She is a good woman trying to make ends meet and needs some extra money because her son Bong is coming to stay with her before he moves to another province with his father and step mom. So she takes the decent paying job to mourn for 5 days plus the funeral. Stella enlists 2 of her friends to come mourn as well. One is a washed up B movie star and the other is an adulterous Christian.

Though at times the movie was a bit slow I really enjoyed it overall. It was a different story than I had ever seen. There was more than enough humor to counter balance the dramatic story. More than anything I could identify with the characters. No matter where you are or what you do the human condition applies.

I would recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys foreign films.

Yes Johnny. Whatever you say Johnny. Just fuck Me Johnny...

I watched The Libertine again. I can not watch this monolog without soaking My panties. I dare you to try.

I love My life....

Last night My husband wanted to get smooth. I was very tired and wasn't very sure that I was up for the horizontal mambo as we do the damn thing right. So instead of trying to persuade Me with words he simply stripped down to his birthday suit and wormed his way between My legs. Then he began kissing My feet. Slow, lingering kisses. Now this of course caught every bit of My attention. Very slowly he worked his way up My legs before using his wrestling skills to flip Me over. Then he began kissing and biteing My neck and ears. This is My weakest spot. I absolutely can't resist neck kisses. Not with the way his beard tickles Me while his lips touch. Yum!

Before I slipped into a sex-out state of mind(it's like a black out but infinately better) I snapped this picture of him kissing My feet. Y.U.M. That ass is even better in person. Sooooooo.... Good.......

I just had sex....

Occasionally I post a description of an extremely exciting sexual encounter that was just so good that I have to tell the world about it. This is one of those posts.

Last night My husband and I wrestled. We have never wrestled before. Sure maybe for a minute or two here or there we might play wrestle but never before have we kept going beyond the initial adrenaline rush. Last night we did. It was FANTASTIC. It began as just some play fighting but moved very quickly to something else. My husband was a wrestler in high school and really loved it. I have always known that which is partly why I have not tried to wrestle him till now. I know he would win. Last night a wild wind caught Me though and when we were play fighting I grabbed his wrists. A light went on in his eyes and before I realized it he was wrapped around me spinning me onto the bed. Yum! I decided to take it a step further. I began to play wrestle like I usually do. you know, “Oh no! Let me go!” and when he loosened his grip on me to give pin me to the bed I saw my opportunity and wriggled free. Jason grinned ear to ear and pounced again. This time he caught me from behind and latched his arm around my waist. I rolled until he broke his grip and then again wriggled free. I think Jason thought it was over at this point because he said “that was fun.” Always one for witty comebacks I said “then you will love this.” At which point I jumped on him, pushing him back against the bed and pinning him down. Or I thought I had him pinned. I am constantly amazed at how strong My husband is but never so much as when he began dead lifting Me off of him. Once he had Me up he shifted and all of the sudden I was back, face down on the bed with his arms and legs wrapped around me, My arms and legs pulled backward.

Well at this point I realized I was not going to win. So I fought dirty. I managed to get a hand free and I reached back and tickled him. Jason is HIGHLY ticklish if you know where to get him. And I do. I went straight for the tickle jugular. In a second the situation was again reversed. But much too soon he was gripping My hands at the wrist with his legs again around Me. So I began pulling out his leg hair. What? I said I fight dirty. So he’s laughing and yelling but I am stealthy like a ninja. I do a double back flip while running up the wall… ok I didn’t do that so much as wrap My legs around him and get ahold of him by the wrist. And we wrestled. Back and forth, the sheer excitement of struggling. It was fantastic!

Eventually I began to get tired so I decided to refocus some of that adrenaline south of the Mason-Dixie. While I was on top of him trying to pin him down I began grinding against him. He instantly became rock hard and his struggling ceased. I made him tell Me that I won. That I was the champion. Which he did with a beautiful smile on his face.

Since I had so thoroughly vanquished him I decided to play with the spoils. I shackled him to the headboard and spread his legs. I then began sucking his dick with at least as much enthusiasm as I had wrestled with. Jason has always been one who, though he loves head, would much rather have sex than just get blown. But I was more interested in what I wanted which was to torment him. So I just kept sucking. When he began getting close to cumming he started asking Me to stop. Then he began begging Me. He told Me that he wanted to be inside Me. But on I sucked. And more he moaned. Until he had no choice but to cum.

It was so hot!

Once I released him he immediately dove south and proceeded to eat Me out like My pussy was a thanksgiving feast!

I love My sex life!

Let Me start off by saying that I can not wait until next year when I get to buy a new laptop. Oh goodness how I can’t wait.

Anywho… I haven’t been checking in as often as I would like owing to, well, Life.

C.O.P.E. is fast approaching. I won’t be staying on sight this time so the experience may end up being a little different than normal. That is ok. Change is the hallmark of progress. I am excited to see what will happen. I have a few play dates lined up.

The Monkey King has replaced his koga tools and I am practically salivating to help him break them in. For those of you who don’t know what I am talking about Koga tools are…well I don’t know what they are, but I believe they have something to do with martial arts. They are these hard rubberish huge drill bits. They aren’t really drill bits but that is what they look like. Hand sized drill bits. And they are probably one of My favorite things on earth! Monkey uses them to dig into My shoulders and get to the pressure points buried under incredibly tight shoulder muscles. Oh… My….God(s/dess[es]). I can not begin to describe to you how good it feels. The only imagery that comes to mind is that of a dry sponge. I mean a real sponge. The dead animal that people used to wash their dishes with. When it is completely dried it is a hard, knobbily, rough rock. However when a sponge has a steady stream of water poured upon it, it becomes supple and malleable. That is My shoulders. Though My husband disagrees with My imagery. He says My shoulders are nothing but granite and post massage, gravel. I can see that as being true as well. Anyone who has ever attempted to rub My shoulders knows how true that is. I tend to carry 75% of stress/tension/anticipation in My shoulders. To borrow our National Threat Level color scheme I am currently at stress level Red. So I am highly anticipating suckering Monkey into working on Me.

I will be feeding a couple of lovely ladies to the fire gods. This will be so much fun. Fire is one of My favorite forms of play. Owing to the hot summer I have not gotten to brandish much fire about so I am eager to get back to My neglected love. I have busted out the wands over the past few weeks (since it turned cold enough to stand it) to whip Myself back into shape. I may have to see if I can get a volunteer or two before the con to donate their bodies for practice.

I am not sure whether or not I will have fire done on Me this time. We will see. I certainly love it. Though as I will be without an escort to babysit Me for the hour I am blissed out afterward, I may have to forgo it. We’ll see.

My birthday is a few days after C.O.P.E. so I have generally let it be known that I will be celebrating My birthday and am open to playing as a form of celebration. We will see what, if anything, comes of it.

So I think that ends the C.O.P.E. anticipatory news.

I got a bit of terrible news yesterday. My lady love’s father, whom I affectionately call My Deadwood Daddy, apparently has advance phase of cancer. My heart breaks for her. Her father is one of the most fantastic men I have ever had the privilege of meeting. He is funny. He is highly intelligent. He can debate all sides of a situation. He is without malice. And on top of everything he has the most fantastic handlebar mustache I have ever seen in life or in print. He is simply cool. And it is terribly unfair that his life is being snatched away from him and his family. He is far too young to be facing this. Far too much life left in him. So I am hoping for a miracle. In the mean time I ask that if you have a second please send some good vibes his way. Thank you.

Jumping topic. I will be going to NYC for the Medieval Festival at Fort Tryon. I am super excited as all indications were that I wouldn’t be able to make it this year. But at the last minute it all worked out. So the 1st weekend of Oct I will be venturing East and slightly north to work the festival. Festival, shmestival. The real reason I am going is to visit My best friends, pupslave keith and Master Christopher. The festival is just the excuse I use to scam a babysitter for the weekend! Last festival keith and I took a walk down to the river and sat on a bench and talked for hours. It was perfect. Not to mention the games that we all play. The drunken fun. The conversations. The Grandpa’s pizza. Oh GOD! The Grandpa’s pizza! I am thrilled that The Husbands have invited Us out and couldn’t be looking forward to it more. In the mean time I have a ridiculous amount of work to do. Since I was not sure if we were going, and at times pretty sure we were not, I did not get an early start on preparing stock. So now I am far behind and attempting like mad to get it all done.

I will have to stop here for now. I have a little girl knocking on My door. Until next time….

Calgon.. No wait.. Jason... take Me away!

I just love showers. I love the water. I love getting clean. I love it all.

Recently I have gotten into manual showers. This, suprisingly, does not involve turning on the shower at all. When our water heater went out we had to get a little creative. This involved heating up water and the copious use of pitchers to get ourselves clean. That is no longer the case but during that time I found that I really enjoyed it. So on occasion I continue this. My husband lives to serve Me. Yeah! So if I am in the mood I tell him that I want him to prepare My bath. I'm not a bath girl, but he knows this means that I want him to go heat up some water. After about 10- minutes he is all ready. Then I just have to strip down and stand in the bathtub. Then he very slowly and sensually pours the warm water over Me. He then proceeds to wash My hair which is one of his favorite activities bar none. Me too. I love the feel of his hands in My hair scrubbing and then the tender way he washes the soap out. It's hot.

In this day in age everything seems to be about getting things done faster. It is nice to take time to purposefully slow it down. To allow My husband this small service that makes us both so happy.

Yum!