So Horror movie month rolls on with Dead Girl, a movie that poses the important questions: 1. “What would you do if you found a somewhat hot, somewhat docile, zombie chained to a bed in an abandoned mental hospital?” 2.“What to do when you find out that your best friend isn’t just a ‘bit dark’ but is in fact a full fledged psychopath who uses a zombie as a sex slave?” and number 3“Can you have a main character who is the actual definition of the term ‘Emo’?”
For Me the answers are: 1.Shoot it in the head. 2. Shoot him in the head. And 3. Yes, but why on earth would you want to?
I will give it this, as someone who spends a lot of time in the “zombie apocalypse” mindscape I feel I have some authority to say that the team responsible for this definitely found a unique perspective to offer up to the zombie universe. And it wasn’t even that bad of a horror flick. More of a mind fuck than actual horror. The camera work was good. And even the inane premise posed questions. But in the end I guess I have been trained too much in regards to finding a zombie. You kill it. That is how My training goes. End of story. Zombie equals the possibility for more zombies. Therefore you put it down. Head shots only (no need to waste ammunition) and always double tap. In no circumstances do you keep a zombie as a sex slave. Call Me old fashioned but I certainly wouldn’t be interested in a zomb-gina no matter how readily available it was. There are plenty of real live people who are more than happy to fill that roll should I find Myself in need of a sex slave. Most would probably even let Me lock them away in an abandoned mental hospital. Well maybe not, but defiantly for the scene.
This definitely wasn’t the worst movie I have seen. I was fairly intrigued the whole way through, and hey, if you ever wanted to see Robert Patinson’s younger brother give his brand of lameness to a zombie flick this might just be the movie for you.
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