I'd rather be Chicagoing.

It has been a minute has it not? “Where have I been?” I hear you ask. That is a good question. I have been a busy little beaver.

This past weekend I went on an adventure. I wanted desperately to tell you about it but it was a secret!! Shh!!! So I thought the best thing to do was to shut My trap so I didn’t give anything away.

“So what is the secret?” I hear you asking. I shan’t keep you in suspense. Me! I’m the surprise! NO! Not to My parents! To My bff keith!

See The Husbands decided to vacation in The Windy City. As an extra treat for his pupslave Master Christopher decided to fly Me out to Chicago as a surprise! How cool is that?

I was deeply honored and absolutely thrilled! Seriously, if you were around Me at all in the week leading up to the trip you heard all about how thrilled I was. And scared! Because I have not flown in a decade. Since before 9/11. Back in those days I was a nervous wreck flying. Not because of terrorism. No. My anxiety was based solidly in the knowledge that a plane is basically a large hunk of metal and it’s natural state of being isn’t 1000 feet up. Post 9/11 I still didn’t really fear terrorism. It was airport security that kept Me in My car for trips. I have more than My fair share of “Interesting stories” and was not eager to add to My repertoire of anecdotes. “Remember that time I was blacklisted on the “Do Not Fly” list by mistake?” No thank you. However to get to see keith and Chris, I swallowed My anxiety (and a muscle relaxer) and hit the tarmac.

On the flight out I was highly amused by the Flight Attendant who was everything I wanted in a 50ish career flight attendant. She looked like she had seen it all. In her heart she’s still a Stewardess and some of the fondest memories she has were those wild nights back in the day that began in a hotel lounge sipping scotch and ended in a sweaty pile on the bed sandwiched between the pilot, co-pilot and the overseas pilot from down the hall.

Used up stewardess’ aside I arrive in Chi-town without incident. No I saved up all My incidents for when I got there!

Chris’s friends Lori and Ivan picked Me up at the airport and we began our series of misadventures. Wrong turns, Chicago traffic and several good curse words later we arrived at the hotel. Where we promptly got stuck in an elevator. First it wouldn’t move at all so we called for help. At which point the elevator took us at random to different floors. Eventually, having ridden from the lobby to the 10th floor to the 3rd floor and then back up to 10 (us the entire time hitting 6 or 8) we got off and thought we might have better luck on the stairs. Sadly not. All the doors were… you guessed it… locked. Chris eventually rescued us from the stairwell.

Now Chris had told keith that he had bought him a present but sadly it would arrive while they were on vacation. After he rescued us from the stairwell Chris hurried into his room and told keith that his present had been rerouted to Chicago. Then I popped into the room!  Not magically mind you.

Now My best friend is a puppy though I have never seen it so clearly as when he saw Me. Cute as a pup he cocked his head to the side and just stared at Me for a solid second. It was adorable!!! Then of course there was much death by hugging!

After the initial shock we went out for Chicago style hotdogs. I, of course, had to be different and got the Green Bay style hotdog. Chris’ 2 best friends flew in for the gathering as well so we were quite the party. We walked down to Lake Side Dr to check out the [Insert Correct Name Here] Fountain. You know the one from the opening of Married With Children. Then we trekked to the Sears Tower to check out the Sky Box. For those of you not in the know The Sky Box is a clear structure that juts out on the top floor of the Sears Tower (and YES I know it is actually the Willis Tower now. I don’t care). So when you step out into the box you can look all around unimpeded as well as straight down. Now I don’t have a problem with heights but this scared Me silly. I was confident and brave as I walked up. I mean, it had to be safe right? But as soon as I got to the edge and took a step out My gaze fell immediately down and I felt My stomach constrict into a 1 inch ball in My throat. Looking straight down the edge of skyscraper was a harrowing experience. My brain started screaming “WRONG SIDE!!!” as in “You are standing on the wrong side of the wall!!!” but I get by with a little help from My friends. Keith took My hand and helped Me out. Once there it was slightly less scary. But then again I didn’t look down again! A very good time!This is the view down from the Skybox.

Then back to the hotel for some quick pre-dinner drinks and then off to Boys Town for dinner. On our way to the restaurant we managed to see 2 real life knock down drag out fights. Both sets of fighters were sporting Cubs gear so we suspect that the Cubs might have lost. Or perhaps won. As we were all originally from Ohio we understand that fighting and at times rioting can be caused by wins just as easily as losses. The restaurant itself was lovely. Our waiter was incredibly attentive and sweet though I do suspect he might have been a wee bit disappointed when he learned that Chris was married. I had a lovely 4 cheese chicken dish served over home made mashed potatoes. YUM! Keith and I sampled a few of the infused vodkas the restaurant made in house while the ladies sampled the “bucket of wine”.

Afterward was much drinking and frivolity. Drinking, talking, drinking, catching up, drinking, drinking, drinking, dancing. Oh, and more drinking! Ended up a Roscoe’s where we consumed pitchers of yummy adult lemonade. Then there was more drinking.

Eventually we made it back to the hotel where we stumbled into bed.

The next morning I was off back to the airport. This time much less nervous. The flight attendant was not nearly an interesting character as the day before however there were other elements of the flight that proved interesting. Mainly that I was next to the metal band Ratt. I had no idea who they were/are which amused them greatly. So now I get to add them to the list of bands I have met. Beach boys, Type 0 Negative, ICP, and now Ratt. Woot!

All in all I had a FANTASTIC TIME! I loved being part of a successful surprise and I had a great time with people I love! What could be better?

The only downfall to this was that all that running around and drunken debauchery I ended up with an ankle the size of a grapefruit. It put Me out of commission so I was not able to do the second half of My funfilled weekend.

See the lovely and beautiful Coral Mallow was teaching a class at S.M.A.R.T. in Cleveland. I basically begged her to come back to Ohio so I could see her however owing to My ankle I was not able to make it to Cleveland to attend her class and hopefully spend some good face to face time with her and her boy Ryan.  I also had to cancel on My good friend Peach who was supposed to make the trip with Me.  Sad Lana. Disappointed Lana. But as sad and as disappointed as I was I still could not walk.  So I owe Coral and Ryan a visit. I must make good on that!

I have the best friends!