Saying Goodbye

Yesterday I spent the day with My sub one last time before he deploys next week.

Sigh.

It’s hard for Me to start talking about this because every time a little lump wells up in My throat. It’s been quiet on the sub front as due to his deployment O/our relationship has been put on the back burner as it must at times like these. I didn’t think to be able to see him before he went. However the sea parted and almost effortlessly time was made available.

We spent a few hours just talking. Mainly how he is doing. His mental state. His readiness. I could feel the stress draining away from him and inside I hurt because soon I will not be able to help him in this way.

Sigh.

I will leave it at W/we had a good heart to heart.

Afterward W/we were at a loss of what to do. he did not want to go home yet and as I was up in his neck of town I had no idea what was around. I’m not really one for mall walking and neither is he. Plus it seemed a poor way to spend the last time W/we had together. Instead I got a little creative.

W/we headed to the wood. There I took his leash and used it to fashion shackles and then secured him to a tree. I then beat him and played with him for an hour. It was beautiful. The sky was pure blue. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, not too cold. And in that space of wilderness W/we reconnected to O/our D/s in a physical way one last time.

Sigh.







Since W/we learned he would be deployed W/we have often discussed how he wished he could bring My collar with him. I asked what he was allowed to take and one of the things was a religious symbol. Though he was raised Catholic and that is what is on his dog tags and how he wants to be buried, he is not actually religious. So I offered to get him a cross to wear as My collar when he is gone. He was very receptive of the idea and excited by it. Yesterday I presented him with the cross which immediately went on his dog tags. It is an unornamented cross. I spent an entire day going from store to store to store looking for it. Everything I found was too decorative. Too pretty. Too feminine. Too big. Finally I found one that spoke to Me. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t decorative. It was a cut piece of steel. Plain and somewhat raw looking. Perfect.

No matter what else happens to him over there I am happy to know that he will have the small comfort of being able at any time to connect with Me in that way. No matter how bad or lonely it gets his collar and his submission, which means so very much to him, is close at hand. Close to his heart. Both literally and figuratively.

Sigh.