Another shot at an intro

So I will admit that my last introduction was pretty weak sauce. On the other hand I suck at introductions. Instead I will just tell you what comes to mind.

I love drag queens. I firmly believe that had I been born with a penis I would a) be gay and b) be a drag queen. I wish I could be one now though. No one understands my sense of style. Sigh. I take being called normal as an insult. Whereas I don’t strive to be different, I just always seem drawn to the path not commonly walked. If possible I like to forge my own path. I am fiercly loyal to my loved ones. I mean that too. If you hurt one of them I will fuck you up. which reminds me, I am a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Not some store front dojo either. I smashed my ankle in high school which has left me with a half inch range of mobility in my right ankle. This allows me to do a rather killer impression of a zombie, and not always in the good way. So if we are hanging out/playing/whatever all day or night and as the evening wears on if I start to look more and more like an extra from Thriller, don’t be alarmed. I’m just gimping out. I respect any and all beliefs as long as you don’t try to impress your beliefs upon anyone else. I am the High Priestest of the Church of Bruce Willis who saves us every day. I am married to the most wonderful man in the world. He’s got shirts to prove it. If you meet him, you too shall fall under the spell of the Jason. If I could clone him I would be rich because I already know a dozen people who would pay to have a Jason of their very own. I am a mother of a precocious 9 year old girl. She gravitates between being awesome and being a shit as children do. She’s super smart and will grow up to be someone important. That way she’ll have the money to put me and Jason up in a nice nursing home. I don’t have telelvision in my house. Not that I don’t have TVs. But we get no channels coming into the house. Not even abc, nbc, etc. Also no internet. We’re practically barbarians. But there is a reason for it. I control everything that comes into my house. Instead of watching crap shows my kid watches good stuff like She-Ra, The Smurfs (The worlds best show bout communism), Transformers (NOT THE MICHAEL BAY BS), Gargoyles, and The Animaniacs (Best show of all time). We are Netflix junkies.

I guess that’s about enough for now.

Toodles!