I am really missing D/s. It's been nearly a year since I have had My sub to play with. I really, really miss it. I have plenty of play opportunities which are always a good time. But I am missing the power exchange component. Coming into a playscene it is a completely different mindset than D/s. I can step into a scene and all involved have a good time. We scene. We play. Depending on the play partner, they cum. and then it is over. That is the let down for me. I miss being able to devote time to someone. I miss steering their growth. I miss learning what makes them tick. I miss getting inside their head. I miss having a goal to work toward.
Of course this is because I have not been able to find someone who can comply with my requirements and expectations. Of which there are many. I admit it. I am not willing to lower my standards to find someone, so I wait. I have faith that I will find the right person but it is a pain in the ass in the mean time.
My boi returns soon though he will be encumbered by many a rule and regulation which will limit our ability to get together. Sigh.
I suppose I will content myself with play time. But at times it does feel hollow when I know what more is possible.
So here's hoping that someone out there will find me who is willing to be loyal and honest and ready to learn more about themselves. And if they are male, can think beyond their dick. I am ready to make room in my life for someone.
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2 comments:
I can tell just by how you wrote this that you are very passionate about a D/s relationship, and just reading it made me a little sad for you.
I know it's been a long wait for you, and the fact that you haven't lowered your standards is a sign that you truly know what you want, and you know yourself enough that you know what will make you happy. And I think someday you'll find it. The problem is, is playing the waiting game or spending untold hours digging through the sand to find the diamond. That requires more patience than most are willing to put forth, and it is frustrating when you try and get little for your efforts.
If I may be completely open (which is sometimes hard for me to do), I sometimes wish that I could of been your submissive. I learn so much when I'm around you, which is why I've taken to calling you my mentoress. Honestly, you are the standard I end up holding to many dommes, which is a standard many fail to live up to. I just wish I was able to be a better submissive for you.
Now that I'm blushing, I'm going to just post this before I get nervous and delete it, because I believe, if anything, it is something that you should hear. You're a wonderful person, and it will take time for you to find someone just as wonderful to desrve you.
Aww, thank you M! That is a very sweet comment.I appreciate the confidence you show in me.
I imagine that were we to have attempted a D/s when there was not adequate time or any of the several other issues that arose, you might feel very different.Can't force a D/s where the dynamics are not in line. Well of course you can but it's not the type that I am interested in.
Mentoress! I love it!
Thank you again. Even someone as confident as I am needs their ego stroked every now and then.
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