Friday, April 8, 2011

sub situation

I just heard from My sub. He has been sleeping in a truck for the last month and hasn't even been able to make it back to base. No showers, only baby wipes. Which is one of many reasons why I am not in the military. Eww!

He returns in July. I have been excited about his return but the closer it gets the clearer reality is. Before he left W/we encountered a few problems. My sub is married which has proven to be difficult when working on O/our relationship. Especially when partner insecurities arise. This led Me to decide that I will NOT take on another sub who is married, partnered, dateing, etc. However what to do with what I have? I thought about releasing him from service, but that seemed a cruel thing to do before he left for his tour of duty. I have concidered releasing him once he returns, as all signs point to the same issues I had to deal with before he left, however I am hesitant to do so. he had a genuine desire to serve. he has served Me well. And I don't particularly want to release him. At least not now. So as ever, it is a state of limbo.

I have been interviewing new subs. Most of them are time wasters, but a few may end up meriting a meeting. I am not overly optimisitc. I have been doing this too long for that. Often I just wish My husband would embrace his subbyness, but that doesn't look likely. So in the meantime I must persevere and hope that there is someone worth all this bullshit. I really hope so.

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