I haven’t been able to write in a while as I have been laid up in bed with a migraine. Not one of those “Quick get me an Excedrin!” migraines, but rather the “Quick get me an axe, I’m going to chop my head off” migraines. Ugh. And then the computer was down. Ugh. And then.. and then… and then…
Anywho… I figured it is about time for another update on the sub. We are now almost 2 months to the day when My sub will be heading over seas. S.U.C.K. A few weeks ago it looked like I was going to be sub-less. Apparently sub’s wife invoked her right of veto over all extra marital relationships. I understand her reasoning behind this. She only has 2 more months with her husband before he heads off to god knows what for 2 years. I would want to spend as much time with him as possible were he My husband. Absolutely within her rights, as every member of the relationship (her, him, Me, jason) all have the right of VETO. However after wife had copious talks with her husband it has been agreed that I add rather than detract from him so O/our D/s was allowed to continue. Which means that I can still work with him towards getting ready for his departure however our time together will be severely curtailed. It isn’t an ideal situation but I defiantly didn’t want to leave him high and dry as O/our D/s means a great deal to him. As a dear friend said “Don’t cut his strings”. So I am making the most of the situation while it lasts.
Sucks. I really like this one. He is just about everything I want in a sub. He takes training well. He works hard. He isn’t whiny. He responds Oh so well to play. He serves as a natural instinct instead of desire to be rewarded. But too soon he will be gone. And with the rest of his responsibilities I can’t be put first. Sucks.
So I continue the search for a new sub. But now I am better prepared. I know more of what I want and what I don’t want, what I need and what I will not tolerate. As a certain slave I love said to Me “You’ve learned all you can from the situation and know better what you want from the next.” (And I apologize Keith for not writing, I will be getting on that soon!) He’s right.
Firstly, no more married subs. I actually didn’t have a problem with him being married. Still don’t. At the beginning I sat down and explained how I would not step on wife’s toes. I would not attempt to usurp her position. I would respect her as his wife. I would respect her rules and regulations. I would respect their time frames. All I asked in return was to be respected as well. Should W/we make plans those plans would be honored. However in reality that was not so much the case. When feelings get thrown in the mix and possibly jealousy it just doesn’t make for a smooth running machine. But I won’t be dealing with that with My next sub. Too many cooks in the kitchen one might say. I liked not having to be his everything. I liked that I could send him home to his family. However I just can’t share a sub with another person. It’s too difficult and winds up in drama. And I am trying to avoid drama like the plague.
Secondly, no more procrastinators. When I give assignments I expect them to be done by the date I have set. I have blogged several rants about this. It absolutely drives Me up a damn wall when journals or assignments are not completed on time. And I am about to get VERY strict about this.
Thirdly, Contact is a must. I need more frequent contact with My sub. And I don’t just mean txting and phone calls. I need face to face time on at least a weekly basis. Ideally more often than that. This virtual shit just don’t cut the mustard for Me. I need to feel the flesh and be able to grab the collar as often as My little heart desires.
Fourthly, sub needs to be financially sound. Now this one I am a little more lenient on. The economy sucks some ass at the moment and for the foreseeable future. Ohio has lost jobs hand over fist and it looks like nothing will be coming along to make up the difference. Many, MANY people have been laid off and I am sensitive to that. If that is the case I can work with it as long as the person is actively job seeking (that doesn’t mean scanning the want ads on Sunday before playing WOW). I want My sub employed. This doesn’t mean I am going to pick his/her pockets. That is not in My nature. But I do want My sub to have the ability to buy Me lunch or a present on My birthday or to be able to accompany Me to events or conventions. I don’t think that is too much to ask. Also if My sub is employed it needs to be in a job with a stable schedule that I can work with and around. Late night stock boys at Walmart need not apply.
Fifthly, My sub needs to have a place of their own. Roommates are cool. Parents, not so much.
I think I will end this here for now. No doubt there will be Sixthly and Seventhly coming along soon. I do love My lists. In fact that is how I got My husband. As a teenager I sat down and wrote a list out of everything I wanted in a partner. My husband is that list. All the way down to the “Asian heritage”. I didn’t want a white boy. Nothing against them but I figured if I was going to be looking at them for a life time I wanted some ethnicity there. That part makes Me laugh every time. Because I got My “Asian heritage” just not the way I though. My husband was adopted by a Chinese man. The universe can be downright hysterical! Anyway, so I am making My sub list. Because I want what I want, Damnit.
Thus far weeding through the sub muck out there has been slow going. Perfectly ordinary people on the outside show their crazy at the prospect of play which is good in that I can get them out of the way early. But it does tend to be tedious and annoying. I know a lot of that is simply the prospect of getting out from behind a computer with some of these people but I am not willing to take a 3 year step backward to try to coax them out of their bedrooms. I want someone ready to claim their sexuality. I want someone willing to take their bliss in their own hands. Someone who has read (GASP!!) about the lifestyle, who has a good idea of what they want (SHOCK!) from their submission. I want someone ready in other words. And that is very very difficult.
There is one sub that I have been talking with who I had to turn down though now I am wondering if I should have. He is sane to begin with which is a plus. He stumbles on a couple of the hurdles I have outlines in this blog, however he is working to rectify that. He doesn’t have a whole lot of experience however he is ready to step forward. Although he actually identifies as a Switch, which is an extra bonus as he is willing to service Top. I’m not sure how well W/we would actually mesh which is why I turned him down. But I like him as a person, which is refreshing.
That’s all. Go back to porn surfing you perverts!
