CONGRATULATIONS KEITH!!!!!

Many MANY hearty congratulations to my best friend Keith who managed to tack down a pretty sweet job while he is finishing up school! CONGRATS BABE!

Although I think it was my phone interview that put you over the edge. So, you're welcome! ;)

Checking in

so much has been in flux over the past weeks. My grandma had a stroke. She is thankfully recovering well and is talking and able to move (mostly) both sides of face. So best way to come through all of that. Took my car into to get new tires yesterday and was told that the front stabalization bar, both ball joints and the struts were totaled. If you have driven with my father you understand why. So over 1k later my car runs smoothly. Thank goodness. My sub is leaving Sat to go for pre deployment training for a month. Suck. Though at the moment I am less than happy with him. The weather can't seem to decide which way it is going. And for some reason I am blocked in writing. Damn that is difficult. But as ever I just persevere and keep at it until the dam in my mind breaks. I know, I know. My mind is already broken.

Say hello to my little friend...

Well maybe not so little.

Yes I have taken another toy into my home. I was at a sex shop and I just couldn’t resist when I saw this hanging on the wall. 9” from head to hilt, and another 5 for the handle. Mmm… It’s given name is “The Manhandler” however it has been rechristened “Excalibur” partly because I didn’t know it’s given name at the time and partly because well, I might just want to get this stuck in something…or someone.

Any volunteers?

You know Monty Python? Of course you do! Then you are familiar with Monty Python then most likely you are familiar with the phrase “And now for something completely different”. This will be like that, except “And now for something completely contraverisal”

I will state at the beginning that the author of this blog does not condone the content of this blog. In fact the author should be ashamed for even thinking about this topic. Bad Lana! In any case if you get upset by what the author has said please get over yourself. I am only following a thought that occurred to me, nothing more.

So I am reading a book called ‘The World’s Most Evil Psychopaths: Horrifying True-Life Crimes”. Why? As you know if you have met me I love history. If it’s true, I will read about it. I thought when picking up the book that it would be a lot of Ed Geins, John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy and that ilk. Yes JWG and TB have their own section (apparently Ed Geins didn’t make the cut which I would argue over) but then I was confronted by about 50 people who made those 3 look like amatures. Maybe I’ve watched too much Dexter (NOW THAT is a SEXY man) but this is one of the most interesting books I have read in a while.

What struck me was the repeated theme of bondage. Not like Boston Strangler kind of bondage, but time after time several of the killers started out kidnapping women or men and then simply tieing them up. Perhaps they got fondled but often it was simply the act of tieing the people up that motivated some of these bastards. They didn’t start killing until they had one of their many victims get loose from the ropes and try to escape. Even the police said that that appeared to be the only motivation.

I was telling my husband about the book and how I had noticed that. I made an off handed comment that maybe if these people had found someone willing to be tied up they may not have progressed to the next level and began killing people. In each of these cases the eventual killer was not dismembering animals as children. Usually they grew up just as normal as could be and then at some point began kidnapping woman or men and tieing them up supposedly because they felt an overwhelming need to. Well my husband said that was a horrible thing to even say. Would I want someone like that in my community? And of course I say NO! There are enough people out there which worry me without adding possible serial killers (not that I haven’t met some people who have made me wonder). But I can’t help wonder if they had come into contact with say some gal or guy who wanted to be tied up if maybe they wouldn’t have made that next step and countless lives would have been saved.

Or I could be talking out my ass.

A word on… Bad Subs aka Wannabe Subs.

You know I am a total fan of the motto “different strokes for different folks”. What gets me off probably won’t get you off (Mainly because he isn’t allowed to get anyone else off but me) ;) And though I don’t understand what the thrill of internet based D/s is I accept it as being a valid and true expression of what they need or want in their life. And hell I don’t even have a problem with the people who use the idea of D/s to get them off without actually participating. But I do have a problem with the people who seemed confused that their kink isn’t nessesarily mine. Or expect me to share their kink just because we are kinky. Or expect me to bend my will to suit theirs.

Fuck all that.

The times they are a-changin

That pretty much sums up what all is going down on my end in general. My gf is going through a divorce, finally jetesoning a man who was no where near worthy of her. My parents are separating after years of mutual loathing. My sub will soon be leaving for a month to train to go over seas in a few months. The only thing that seems to be reliable right now is the damned weather. All shit all the time.

Ugh.

Good book

I got an adorable book from the clearance rack at Half Price Books.It is called “The Nympho and Other Maniacs. The lives, The Loves, and the Sexual Adventures of Some Scandalous and Liberated Ladies” Rarely have I been so pleased with a clearance bin purchase.

It is a collection of profiles of several woman throughout time that have done something scandalous, wether sexual or just challenging to the thoughts of the time. Though I have read too much to agree with all the points the author makes I none the less enjoyed his unrelenting Pro-Sex viewpoint that he told each of the stories from. Women have been demonized in literature for far too long. Especially those out there, like myself, who enjoy getting down and dirty. Yes it’s dated and yes the author at times gives the pervy uncle vibe but there is a part of me that likes that too.

The author is defiantly Pro-Mistress which caught my attention. Though as it turns out his definition of Mistress is slightly different than Mine. In the very beginning of the book he quotes several dictionary definition of Mistress. My favorite of which is “A woman who illicitly occupies the place of wife.” Though I don’t agree with the “place of wife” part I can easily exchange that one word for place of Priority and be completely at ease. Though I do believe in transparency so nothing I do is technically considered illicit, I like the way that being called illicit makes me feel.

So if you happen across the little gem I would recommend picking it up. Good stuff.

New Toy

So at Winter Wickedness my lovely sub bought me a new toy! It is a fun flogger called (I believe) The Fountain. This is due to its 3 levels of looped suede falls. It looks kind of like a 3 tier fountain. It is adorable and nice and thumpy. I love it! Here is a pic modeled not by My boy but by My husband.

A word on...PORN!!!!!

So I bought some new porn this week. We kind of went a bit hog wild and ended up getting 5. What can I say? Valentine's deals! Anyway, I got a Dungeon Doll, an all girl (YUM), a free with purchase Hustler porn and then 2 Nina Hartley's. The first one just has a vignette of her. The second is her Nina Hartley Guide to Strap-On's. I couldn't help myself! Did I mention I got fucked by Nina? Mmmmmm...goodness.

Bad Boy...

So once again My sub has neglected his journal and assignments. I am not thrilled. He told me (after the fact) that he was inundated with other things he had to do for his wife. I am of course reasonable and am always happy to give extensions where they are needed. However when I am not told before the assignment/journal is due, then I get pissed. I hate having to harp on about something being missing. It annoys me to all high heaven. So My boy has earned himself a punishment.

But it is not enough for me to simply react to what has happened. If I want the behavior to stop I need to figure out if there is something at the root of it. I think there might be. He only ever has problems with journal/assignments after we have scened together or spent time face to face. I'm wondering if he has a hard time transitioning from his uber sub self when he is with me to the uber Dom self that he is with his wife and family. I also believe he has a bit of a problem with self processing, as when I assign a journal I expect some serious thought to be put into it.

So now I need to figure out some strategies to help break past this mental block he might be up against. Hmmmm......

Happy VD everyone!

It's Valentine's Day! YEAH!!! WOHOO!! ugh. I have trouble getting it up for this holiday, but for those of you who enjoy it, here is the truth about Valentine's Day (as told by Lana).

Much like The Great Pumpkin, Saint Valentine only shows himself to those who TRULY believe in him. So say your prayers and cross your fingers because every year on Valentine's Day Saint Valentine covers the globe finding those true of spirit who believe in him (or those who sacrifice a druid to him). Then once he has found the faithful he bestows upon them a wish. If you are lucky enough to be entitled to one of St. V's wishes you can wish Venerial Disease upon anyone you want. It's really a magical holiday.


And now an oldie but a goodie....


Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all of that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass!
I'll spend the day so drunk that I just can't speak,
And wear only black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet but it soon will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a big crock of shit!
So here is my story, what else can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentine's Day!

Still recovering..

So it's been a few days and I am still in the recovery process from the wonderful time I had at WW! I'm still sore all over. I'm still bruised all over and I still haven't dropped! WOHOO!!! I am hoping to make it down to Columbus tonight for the Perversion Diversion however I forgot that I had made a date with my daughter to go see Percy Jackson opening night. So hopefully I can do both, but otherwise it's Camp Half Blood all the way!!!!!!

Anyway, here are a couple of more pictures. Nothing fancy.


My boy's collar.



One of the MANY bruises I got this weekend. This one was not caused by Lady JoJo and her firecups of pain and pleasure. Credit for this one has to go to Sir Barak and I am safe in my knowledge that I am still his chewtoy. ;)

Winter Wickedness Report. NSFW!!!

WARNING! THIS BLOG WILL BE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT!! And most likely long. So if you got to hit the head this is the time. I mean it. I spent a weekend away at a Kink con and had one hell of a time so if the prospect of hearing about hot girl on girl action offends or disgusts you… well why the hell are you reading my blog in the first place? Anyway, it’s gonna get graphic. You’ve been warned.

Now that I have your attention….


Oh the weather outside was frightful,
But the kink inside, delightful!
And since we had no place to go,
Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow!

When I was thinking about how to start out my blog about this weekend and that little ditty jumped to mind. I may not be a great song writer like a certain slave I know but it does serve to encapsulate my feelings.

This weekend was a very lucky attendee of and staff member at


Winter Wickedness, A Pansexual Kinkstravaganza!!!!



The gods and goddesses of kink came at the prospect of the weekend which manifested as about a foot and a half of snow which blanketed the city. This may also have been to protect us from any protesters who might have a decent memory. NOONE hate sex enough to stand in that kind of weather to hold up 2 ken dolls taped together. No one. Thankfully I was able to make it to the hotel before the snow really started accumulating. By the time it was shitty my husband had dropped me off and was safe at home tucked into bed having a 3way with his flat screen (Angela) and his PS3 (The Whore). And I was elated to be at WW with my submissive in attendance. he busted his ass during set up and was a real asset.

Friday my sub also earned his collar. He has been wearing a training/probationary collar since he was collared months ago. But I bought him his very own collar which he proudly wore all weekend long.

Friday night he was instructed only to watch and see what all there was while I did a bit of playing of my own. The beautiful and talented Lady JoJo indulged me with her fire wands and then introduced me to the joys of firecuping. She also introduced me to the pain of fire cupping as well. OUCH!!! At one point the jolt of pain wrenched the words “fucking bitch” from my lips which I learned is not the best thing to say to a sadist. It gets them started. But it was more pleasure than pain and I thoroughly enjoyed it even if I did look like I wrestled Chtulu afterward.

I retained my title as Chewtoy and have the bite mark to prove it. So many colors in the bruise. I am also thankful to Erica for giving me an introduction to the joys of violet wand play. YUM! So good. I can’t wait to do a full scene of that!

Sat brought many yummy classes though none was nearly as exciting for me as Nina Hartley’s Strap On class. Why you might ask? Because I got to be her demo bottom!!!! Yes pornstar Nina Hartley! If you don’t know her, google her. You might be surprised to find out that you do. She fucked me 8 different ways over the course of an hour while we were up on a bondage table in front of a packed room full of people. H.O.T. I came 4 times and was so blessed out at the end that I walked around in what was termed “a Nina fog”.

Sat evening found me in some of my finest kink attire with my beautiful boy on my arm. He had told me so many times that he was afraid of being naked in the dungeon/playspace in front of people. He has body image issues. He has no reason to be ashamed. I love all body types but his is very pleasing. Tight and firm all over. It became apparent that his fear that I might make him strip in public might taint any other scene we might do. Or at least he would always have it in the back of his mind. So I decided to bust down that particular wall.

I taped off a 2 foot square on the floor, gave him the instructions to take whatever was given to him and then made him strip. He was not allowed to leave his box and had to endure a litany of Doms and Tops teasing, tormenting, touching, caressing, pinching, prodding, punching and generally fucking with him. He absorbed it all as he had been instructed to do. In the end being naked in public was no longer a problem and we were able to get past that. Many thanks to the wonderful women who helped me out with this task. Thanks to Sheba, Amanda, Marta, Lady Di, Peach, Nina, Pam, Erica, and the other ladies whom I can see clearly in my mind and can not place a name to at the moment. Thank you so much. It might have been frustrating with him not giving up anything of what he was feeling but it was a successful scene and I appreciate the time you took!

I took My boy back to My room and gave him some aftercare, making sure that he was alright and then lit his body on fire which calmed him right now.

It was a fantastic weekend. So much fun was had. I can now say I have been fucked senseless by a pornstar. And of course I will be saying it. often. So get used to it. I may even get it embroidered on a t-shirt.  Had the fates not conspired against me I could have been made into a hand puppet for a woman that I would DEARLY love to play with. But with a little luck I will be able to have that particular experience in 2 months time. Fingers crossed because I have had a hard on for Coral Mallow since I first met her. YUM!!!!

I met so many new people and reconnected with so many excellent people. How wonderful it is to be part of such a fantastic community!!!!

All I can say is, is it C.O.P.E. yet?

WW here I come!!!

Off I go to Winter Wickedness with my good little sub in tow. Expect the full report next week.

Mmm... Kink...

Jesus Fing Christ

No really, that is what this is called. Check it out! Unless of course poking fun at the lord of some is a problem for you, then don't.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhEUWobdXqY


Whores are cool. So saith me.

I am falling in love with Brad Neely