Tranny Honey

The adventures of Lana in RopeLand

Last night I realized that whilst repacking my toybag I forgot a length of rope. It was lying on my bed and I may be a little bit silly but it seemed to be looking at me expectantly. So I picked it up and began playing. Just screwing around tieing my husband's arms up while we watched "OutRage" (GREAT DOCUMENTARY!). My husband told me that he finally understands why people enjoy rope. The sensation of having the rope tied around his skin, and the feel of it being tied and eventually taken off was very intense. He really enjoyed it. As did I. And thanks to my friend I was able to get it done in only a few minutes which is right up my alley.

Here are 2 pictures for us dicking around with rope.



Some restraints I made. Love the handle in the center.So convenient.




My husband told me he wanted a rope gauntlet. This was my attempt. :)

Getting out that frustration

So if you have been reading my blog you might be able to discern that I have been rather frustrated as of late. Yesterday I was packing my toy bag for Winter Wickedness, the upcoming AIS convention. I pulled out my floggers and had them lined up. I began thinking of some of the scenes I have planned and others I want to give a try. I was overwhelmed by the desire to pick them up and play.

So I gave in.

I put on some music (nice and thumpy), picked my spot on the wall and began beating the hell out of it. After only a few minutes I began to feel some of the weight on my shoulders lifting. So I turned the music up and gave into it allowing the flogger to fall to the beat of the music. At some of the most intesne moments I wasn't so much letting the falls fall as I was punching the flogger at the wall. On the upswing I would let the flogger go wide and come down on my back which felt fantastic. That's right, I switch even when my partner is a wall. I had to cut my wall scene short when my daughter came home as I didn't feel like explaining to her why mommy was abusing the wall. But even if I only beat the wall for an hour it was an intense hour and allowed me to work out so much of my frustration that I felt absolutely better when it was all said and done. I felt relieved. I felt refreshed.

Yeah for floggers!

Team Conan

So my friend asked me (a while ago actually) in an email where I was on the Leno/Conan feud. I absolutely forgot to respond so I am letting him and the world know now. Even if it is too late for the red headed one.

A bit calmer

Well I am a bit calmer than I was last night. It's a bit shocking to find out that you have been absolutely and utterly screwed. But I have taken a few breaths, figured out a plan, and will hopefully be able to move beyond this matter quickly and with no more pain involved.

So I am in a bit of better place. Not great. Not good. But a bit better.

FUCK NICK ODENWELLER-STOVER!!!!! NSFW

So I just got the call from the asshole who hit me insurance company. Yes, he does have insurance as it turns out. Well the fucker lied through his god damned teeth to his insurance company and claims that I HIT HIM! I HIT HIM!!!! So they won't be doing anything at all. In fact I got called a liar. several times. Even implied that I was trying to commit insurance fraud. AND their insurance adjuster (the same insurance adjuster who checked out my car. I knew that would be a problem) has said that his verision is more probable. Which may well have fucked me for sueing the fucker in small claims court (assuming of course that I can locate his information).

I am so upset I am sick.

I am so upset I am angry.

I am so FUCKING UPSET BECAUSE HE GETS AWAY WITH THIS!!!!!!

I got hit. My car got totalled. He admitted fault. And because he wants to be a lieing little fucking PRICK he gets away with it. Fuck him! FUCK HIM SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW!!!!


Take this as a lesson. DON'T TRUST PEOPLE! THEY WILL FUCK YOU!!!!


Oh and if you happen to know about a Nick Odenweller, a Nick Stover or a Nick Odenweller-Stover then PLEASE let me know.

random funny

This just tickled me. I may be a bit slap happy though.

I am over snow.

Lana, Where Are You?

I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life is catching up with me and keeping me sequestered in my castle. Alas.

It appears I spoke too soon when I said my car was being repaired. As it turns out I appear to be continuing to be screwed by this guy. Not only did he hit me, provide me with wrong information but now he refuses to cooperate with his insurance company. So I am stuck in a loophole. Until he gives them a statement they can't move forward. And he refuses to respond to any calls or letters. LOVELY. So I am learning a valuable lesson on Not killing people who deserve it. One of life's lessons I suppose.

On the plus side a kinky convention approaches. I am very excited that I was able to get a ticket for my sub who will be accompaying me. It will a very interesting expereince not only in enjoying all the fringe benefits associated with ahving a willing servant at the con but also ensuring that he has a memorable time and balancing it all with the down time that I will need. I am excited about the possiblity.

I'm with you

To my boy~

I know today will be a hard one for you. Know that you are in my thoughts today. This to shall pass, as they say. Just breathe. It will get better.

Mistress

Fun in the Dungeon

I have given my boy an assignment to be completed by the convention he will be attending with Me. Basically what I have assigned is that he will make something for me to use on him at the convention. It doesn't matter what it is as long as he makes it himself and it is something he has been interested in or wanting to try. He is not to tell me what it is, but instead I will have him put it in a box and wrap it up for me so that I can open it like a present. I am excited to see what he comes up with. He is a handy boy who is planning to make several toys for Me and a few for him for our general play/relationship.It will be interesting to see what he comes up with.

Mistressing through a crisis

Talk about a fast paced kind of a week. So much can go wrong so quickly. And not just the things we think of as being a big deal. My car, my phone, etc. My sub recently lost one of his best friends.

When you begin a D/s relationship it is very exciting. new things to do with a new person. Everything is fresh. So many expectations. So many ideas to try out.

But once you have gotten into the relationship for a bit real life does tend to intrude on the ideally created and meticulously crafted D/s world. I've tried out some subs before that when the going got tough the sub got going. In the long run that was a good thing. It exposed those who were not in the relationship for the right reasons. Thankfully it allowed me to stop wasting my time with that type.

So when shit hit the fan so to speak recently I did harbor a little fear. Though my current sub has shown in just about every way that he is dedicated to our relationship I was still concerned that these events, especially being in such quick sequence, might send him running.

I am happy to report that he has not. With the issues that has arisen in my life he has been most helpful and willing to do whatever needed to be done, dealing well with the loss of our weekend and not pouting (another ANNOYING habit of past subs). With the death of his friend he was not afraid to tell me what he needed from me in the way of support which I, of course, freely offered.

I have had a couple of lifestyle friends email me telling me that this is the time for me to crack down on him. Turbulence is a way to strengthening the relationship. Make sure he is under my thumb, etc. I can't say I really agree with this. Though it may work for some, it isn't really my way. I am not looking for a submissive who needs to be "put in his place". I want one that knows his place. And becoming aggressively Dominant at times of chaos and loss feels to me like it exacerbate the situation.

So right or wrong that is where I am head space wise. We continue his training. He continues his journals and I am very happy that he will be able to join me at the next convention to serve me the whole weekend. I am actually very excited about this. Yes we lost our last weekend together, but the next will be one he won't forget his entire life. At least that is the way I have it planned.

update

So I am not really interested in going into the details as they are long and complex, however the car situation now involves lawyers and I will leave it at that. Our car is being repaired which is good. Many thanks to all that sent me well wishes. I greatly appreciate it. Thank you!

But the hits just keep on coming. Today my cell (which everyone knows is my link to the world outside Galion) committed suicide. It lept from my pocket and died on impact. Of course I am being dramatic, but it is dead and I am upset. So I am in need of phone numbers from all you lovely folks I talk with, txt with, email with and play with. If you have heard from me on the phone, can you shoot me an email letting me know your number? Thanks!

Ok I think that wraps it up for me for now. I know, nothing too exciting but hey...

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Mistresses...

Will all come crashing down again and we'll all despise the other in the grandest style.

So I had a weekend of great fun structured. The couch was made up for my sub. Tasks had been prepared. The Kitchen was stocked with all the lovely food I was to have cooked for me. I had my Mistress cap on. It was going to be so fun.

But then Mistress Fate had to bitch smack me.

I picked up my sub and we headed south to the Perversion Diversion (vanilla gathering of kinky folks). We had a lot of fun playing doubles at pool with some friends. Hung out with many many very interesting people. Had so much fun. I eventually said goodbye and headed out.

Hadn't been on the road more than 2 minutes when I hear a big BANG and then we are spinning in circles. The boy in the next lane apparently hit some black ice and slide right into the side of my car which sent us into an exhibition of kenetic energy. We spun 3 times before hitting the guard rail and coming to a rest.

We are both fine, thank goodness. As my sub said it could have been much worse had there been any cars around us. But as it was there was just him and me. He was forthcoming with his information and my car was drivable just banged to hell and back.

So I went home and tried to file with his insurance company only to find out he had none. G.R.E.A.T.

So if you want to send some good vibes my way I would gratefully accept and appreciate them. Cuz this shit is crazy.

Journal

"i liked coming into the house andn being told to get on my knees right away. That is where i want to be waiting for you to need me. i felt proud when you put your collar on me, even if it was just a training collar. Everything about having your collar on made me feel good. Having to wear it to the store and wear it all the way home was a great way to show that i am yours."


An exert from my subby's journal.

Lana gives rope a try

WARNING! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE MY BOOBS DON'T SCROLL DOWN!!!!!


I had a fantasic day yesterday! Truly stellar. I went down the Cbus to have a late lunch with a dear friend. I haven't had a chance to have some one on one time with him that didn't involve planning of a convention in quite some time so when he said he had some free time I pounced.

So we're having some lunch and great conversation inturupted occasionally by the waiter telling me how good I smell (No joke, he told me at least 5 times). My friend is Kinky with a capital K so we were talking about all manor of kinky goodness. I mentioned how I have no time for Rope. I know lots of people love it but for me it has been inaccesable and of no interest. I have all sorts of restraints that work faster and I am a girl who loves her instant gratification. Besides I just can't bring myself to learn dozens of knots, as I told him. He then informed me that there were only 3 knots I needed to know and volunteered to show me.

So we headed back to his place and I got a crash course in rope. As it turns out rope can be easy. It can also be fun, which I wasn't expecting. I mean he's always a hoot but I didn't expect to be giggling the whole time. Which I was. Yes, I giggle. It was a blast marred only by finding out later that we could have kept on playing for longer than we did. DAMNIT! My friend opened me up to some ideas that I had firmly put behind the NO door. He made it accesable. And I think he had some fun too.

You never know how the day will turn out.

Journaling

One of the cornerstones of training a sub for Me is journaling. I have My sub journal often about many various topics. My sub responds best to specific instructions so usually I provide a topic for each journal as well as bullet points of areas I would like to be covered in that entry. Sometimes however I will provide no topic or just a jumping off point and let him come up with the rest. Now granted when I give him less instruction the journal entries are not as long or complex. However it is a good test to see where My sub’s mind is. What he is thinking about.

Recently I assigned him a journal with the first sentence being “Mistress I want you to know….” With no other direction other than I want it to be personal. he immediately began asking for more clarification or guidelines, did I want it to be something kinky or straight? How personal would I like it to be? Etc. To which I replied simply that is up to you. He expressed concerns that I may be upset by what he would write to which I assured him that he should still write it and send it to Me.

I am very happy to report that he rose to the challenge quite well. I will not share what he wanted me to know as it is very personal. but that is just the point. It was personal. Very much so. I am glad to know that W/we are building a basis of trust that hopefully will serve us both.

A word on being fat

So I get online today and as usual the headlines pop up. Minister raises money...blah blah blah...Kate Goslin is getting a new show..barf....Plus Sized Model Wears Bodysuit for Photoshoot....Humm.... So I click on that.

I should have known better.

In the fashion industry what passes for plus sized in a size 8. Which arouses a bit of homicidal rage in me. Really? A size 8? And she DARED to put on a bodysuit? How could she bring herself to squeeze all that fat into it?

Please.

I am fat and am definatly not a size 8. Hell I'm not even a size 18. But you know what? I am fucking hot. It's taken me a long road to get here but I can say that with absolute and utter sincerity.

Once upon a time I was a much smaller lady. Size 12. which I know would kill any chance of being a model. That would be concidered morbidly obese in fashion. However even when I was at that smaller size I thought I was fat. Hugely. I had a horrible self image and like most people with poor self images I allowed others to define my beauty. I sought out relationships to validate my worth. Men and women who treated me at times like less than a person and used my own fears of myself to keep me in check. They withheld the affection I so desperately craved and only doled it out very occasionally. Statements like "You aren' that ugly" were concidered high praise in my fucked up adolecent mind.

Then something changed. I could attribute that change to many things. The disolving of those relationships, moving out and being on my own. But the truth is the change only happened within my own head. I said enough. If I wanted people to love me for me then I had to love myself. Extra roll and all. So I began working on that. And before I knew it, I loved myself.

After I had my kid my body kind of exploded the same as most women in my family. I fought it. I worked hard at the gym. I dieted my way into severe blood problems. I did what I could to try to make myself thinner. It didn't work. So I was faced with a new problem to face. Could I love myself and find myself hot when I was as big as a float (slight exageration)?

The answer I am glad to say is I sure can! And because I love myself and I know that I am a hot piece of ass it is easier for others around me to see me in that light. and if they don't? Fuck em. That is my philosophy. How does it hurt me that some stick insect wants to make a fat ass comment to me at the movie store? More often than not I just turn around and comment back to them that I eat little girls like them for breakfast. That usually scares them into shutting up. I think that a part of them believes me. Which makes me laugh.

Weight does not matter to me. I am happy in my skin. I encourage everyone else to be as well. It makes life so much easier.

The people of the world who want to concider a size 8 plus sized... well fuck em too. Marilyn Monroe dresses wore the modern day eqivalent of a 8/10. And if you want to see some good looking plus sized models check out Leonard Nimoy's Full Body Project. Beautiful. http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/2photo.htm

Glee! ?

I am less than Gleefull after checking out Glee! The ladies at my local Family Video told me it was not to be missed. It was so funny they cried. So I gave it a shot. I should have known better. They also told me Ugly Betty was THE BEST show on TV.

It took me about 2 episodes to figure it out. They found a way to make High School Musical into a series. And I can't quite convince myself that is a good thing. The autotune is scary. The songs are inapropriate for high schoolers at the least and are absolutely terrifying at the most (If you saw the Glee club teacher singing Kanye's Golddigger you understand what I am talking about). I love Jane Lynch and she is delightful as the cheerleading coach but I'm sorry babe. You just aren't enough to save that show. I'm sure the HSM crowd love it. I would rather eat my own eyes.

Oh, one footnote. I LOVE Kristen Chenoweth. Her episode was almost funny. If you fast forward through all the singing but her.

Sunday Smut I want to fuck my friend...

I know I have been lacksidasical with my Sunday Smut. The Holidays have taken their toll. I will be returning to full on stories next Sunday I promise! In the meantime here is something I jotted down.


I have a confession to make. I want to fuck my friend. She shares a love of the flame so occasionally I get the pleasure of setting her on fire. I love watching the fire play across her skin. At first I am hesitant with the flame to ease her into the play but before long she is asking me for more. She wants the long burn. The deep burn. And oh the way she moans for it... It's usually at this time that my pervy little brain begins speeding up. Hearing her moaning for more my mind drifts to other ways to make her moan. I run my wand across her pert breasts and allow my other hand to extinguish the flame. I feel the way the barbell in her nipples heats up and I want more than anything in those moments to lean over and feel that heat with my tongue. To run my tongue languidly over her nipple and feel it harden in my mouth. I want to bite down and hear her breath catch. I want to be spread her legs and blow the hot flame onto her pussy. I want to reach out and feel the slickness between her legs that tells me she is enjoying herself. I want to barely touch her clit and see how she reacts. I want to brush her pussy so lightly that she pushes herself forward towards me, begging me with her body for more. I want to bury my head in between her legs and lick and suck until she screams and cums on my tongue. I don't want my fire to be the only thing that sets her off.

Next training...

I have set the date for my sub to come back up to my house. It will be a bit different as it will be an overnight. He will be coming up on the 9th and going home on the 10th. I am excited to have him to myself for 2 days. So much more can get accomplished! However I am… what’s the word…. Intrigued to see how it is going to play out when my husband gets home from work.

Now my husband knows all about my sub. In fact he has supreme veto so if he doesn’t like my sub, he’s history. My husband doesn’t like sharing me with men. Well, non gay men in any case. When I first had my sub over I noticed for a few days before hand my husband’s masculinity was up and ruffled. Though he was cool with it happening he was still cautious (remember the skin suit?) and concerned for my safety. So when I asked him about an overnight I thought for sure that he would say NO! To my surprise he only thought about it for a minute or two before saying that it would be just fine. SHOCK!!! We even talked about where the sub would sit when we watch a movie that evening (we watch a lot of movies). It was a very healthy and exciting conversation. I think my husband is getting into the idea more and more which makes me very excited!

Still it will be interesting to see how it all goes down.

The L Word

So do you know The L Word? Do you love it? If you aren’t hip to The L Word I would suggest taking the time to Netflix it. I just love the show. It has grown so much over the years. I am about the finish the last 2 episodes of the series and am totally pumped for it (DIE JENNY!!!). But one of my favorite parts of getting The L Word in the mail is the bonus features. Mostly special features consist of 1-3 documentaries about the making of the show/movie chock full of clips from the show/movie. The L Word bonus features for the past few seasons have included some really nice featurettes that are not just masturbatory about how great the show is.

I am watching the featurette called “Generations”. It is a series of interviews with lesbians from the various generations telling their stories. The youngest being a Point Foundation award recipient who knew at age 8 that she was gay and was able to use that knowledge to help children with coming to terms with who they are. There was an older lesbian couple who has been together 31 years in a small town in Oregon and had never encountered prejudice until they started standing up for their rights. There is a woman who was arrested dozens of times in the 40s for “masculating” meaning she dressed like a man. She was actually arrested over and over again until she found a good attorney. All of which talked about how positive it has been to be able to turn on the TV and be able to see themselves represented. Not in a comical or stereotypical way. Instead they are represented as people. Main characters with plots and sub plots, story arcs and pitfalls. As one of the ladies represented said “For an hour when you turn on the show, you aren’t the outsider looking in.”

I can not imagine what it is like to grow up gay in this day in age. I definitely can’t imagine what it was like to grow up gay in days past. The bigotry, the hatred, the absolutism that they face. The blatant disregard for their rights. I... I just don’t get it. I can’t imagine having to struggle that much just to be who I am.

My hope is that shows like The L Word and Queer As Folk may help in some small way. Not only for the GLBT children and adults out there struggling to define what it is that they are. Not only for the GLBT children and adults who know exactly who they are. But for the small minded middle America types. The housewives who go to church and nod along as the preacher tells them how to vote on Tuesday who heard about the L Word and may rent it just to see what it is about. My hope is they get involved in the story line and come to break some “ideas” about whom and what GLBT are. Maybe get just a little hip to the truth. And I bet their husbands will watch as well. At first for the girl-girl sex scenes which are oh so rampant but then eventually sinking into the story and seeing that Lesbians are not just porn.

At least that is my hope. It may be a bit naive but I think the media influences our culture much more than we realize. And wouldn’t it be lovely if, for once, the influence was positive?

Disapointed...

So I’ve had my first disappointment from my sub. I suppose that isn’t too bad for almost a month in. However it was as I say, disappointing.

I assign journals to my sub. All sorts of different journals with various topics. After he came to my home and served me all day I assigned a journal to him. In the journal I wanted him to tell me his impressions of the day. How he felt about the various aspects of the day. How it affected any preconceived notions he had. How it might have strengthened his submission. You get the idea.

Now it was an awkward week for assignments. Too much going on on both of our ends. The final Christmas preparations were in full swing in both of our house holds. By Wed he had not finished buying for his 3 children and though happily I was finished by Wed even with wrapping. Anyway owing to the holiday I allowed him to wait and turn in his journal the following Monday.

In the morning he sent me his usual Good Morning Mistress txt. I asked him if he was ready to get started on his journal. he said he was. I left him to it. After noon I asked him when I should be expecting it. he told me I would have it that evening. That evening I waited and nothing came through. At a half hour till bedtime I txted and told him he had a half hour before I went to bed and if I did not have the journal I would be disappointed.

Nothing.

In the morning he apologized most profusely and told me that he had gone to a bar to watch football. I admonished him that football was not an acceptable excuse to which he agreed most profusely and has promised me never to let an assignment slip again and begged my forgiveness. he then wrote the journal I asked for and I will admit that he was very attentive to my instructions answering each point I asked him to journal about.

So in the end it was resolved but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. Not turning things in on time is one of my pet peeves and is something I addressed at the onset. I will allow him this slip one time (though he may get a few lashes for it). But as I said, it was disappointing.