Bad Boy...

So once again My sub has neglected his journal and assignments. I am not thrilled. He told me (after the fact) that he was inundated with other things he had to do for his wife. I am of course reasonable and am always happy to give extensions where they are needed. However when I am not told before the assignment/journal is due, then I get pissed. I hate having to harp on about something being missing. It annoys me to all high heaven. So My boy has earned himself a punishment.

But it is not enough for me to simply react to what has happened. If I want the behavior to stop I need to figure out if there is something at the root of it. I think there might be. He only ever has problems with journal/assignments after we have scened together or spent time face to face. I'm wondering if he has a hard time transitioning from his uber sub self when he is with me to the uber Dom self that he is with his wife and family. I also believe he has a bit of a problem with self processing, as when I assign a journal I expect some serious thought to be put into it.

So now I need to figure out some strategies to help break past this mental block he might be up against. Hmmmm......

Winter Wickedness Report. NSFW!!!

WARNING! THIS BLOG WILL BE SEXUALLY EXPLICIT!! And most likely long. So if you got to hit the head this is the time. I mean it. I spent a weekend away at a Kink con and had one hell of a time so if the prospect of hearing about hot girl on girl action offends or disgusts you… well why the hell are you reading my blog in the first place? Anyway, it’s gonna get graphic. You’ve been warned.

Now that I have your attention….


Oh the weather outside was frightful,
But the kink inside, delightful!
And since we had no place to go,
Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow! Fuck the snow!

When I was thinking about how to start out my blog about this weekend and that little ditty jumped to mind. I may not be a great song writer like a certain slave I know but it does serve to encapsulate my feelings.

This weekend was a very lucky attendee of and staff member at


Winter Wickedness, A Pansexual Kinkstravaganza!!!!



The gods and goddesses of kink came at the prospect of the weekend which manifested as about a foot and a half of snow which blanketed the city. This may also have been to protect us from any protesters who might have a decent memory. NOONE hate sex enough to stand in that kind of weather to hold up 2 ken dolls taped together. No one. Thankfully I was able to make it to the hotel before the snow really started accumulating. By the time it was shitty my husband had dropped me off and was safe at home tucked into bed having a 3way with his flat screen (Angela) and his PS3 (The Whore). And I was elated to be at WW with my submissive in attendance. he busted his ass during set up and was a real asset.

Friday my sub also earned his collar. He has been wearing a training/probationary collar since he was collared months ago. But I bought him his very own collar which he proudly wore all weekend long.

Friday night he was instructed only to watch and see what all there was while I did a bit of playing of my own. The beautiful and talented Lady JoJo indulged me with her fire wands and then introduced me to the joys of firecuping. She also introduced me to the pain of fire cupping as well. OUCH!!! At one point the jolt of pain wrenched the words “fucking bitch” from my lips which I learned is not the best thing to say to a sadist. It gets them started. But it was more pleasure than pain and I thoroughly enjoyed it even if I did look like I wrestled Chtulu afterward.

I retained my title as Chewtoy and have the bite mark to prove it. So many colors in the bruise. I am also thankful to Erica for giving me an introduction to the joys of violet wand play. YUM! So good. I can’t wait to do a full scene of that!

Sat brought many yummy classes though none was nearly as exciting for me as Nina Hartley’s Strap On class. Why you might ask? Because I got to be her demo bottom!!!! Yes pornstar Nina Hartley! If you don’t know her, google her. You might be surprised to find out that you do. She fucked me 8 different ways over the course of an hour while we were up on a bondage table in front of a packed room full of people. H.O.T. I came 4 times and was so blessed out at the end that I walked around in what was termed “a Nina fog”.

Sat evening found me in some of my finest kink attire with my beautiful boy on my arm. He had told me so many times that he was afraid of being naked in the dungeon/playspace in front of people. He has body image issues. He has no reason to be ashamed. I love all body types but his is very pleasing. Tight and firm all over. It became apparent that his fear that I might make him strip in public might taint any other scene we might do. Or at least he would always have it in the back of his mind. So I decided to bust down that particular wall.

I taped off a 2 foot square on the floor, gave him the instructions to take whatever was given to him and then made him strip. He was not allowed to leave his box and had to endure a litany of Doms and Tops teasing, tormenting, touching, caressing, pinching, prodding, punching and generally fucking with him. He absorbed it all as he had been instructed to do. In the end being naked in public was no longer a problem and we were able to get past that. Many thanks to the wonderful women who helped me out with this task. Thanks to Sheba, Amanda, Marta, Lady Di, Peach, Nina, Pam, Erica, and the other ladies whom I can see clearly in my mind and can not place a name to at the moment. Thank you so much. It might have been frustrating with him not giving up anything of what he was feeling but it was a successful scene and I appreciate the time you took!

I took My boy back to My room and gave him some aftercare, making sure that he was alright and then lit his body on fire which calmed him right now.

It was a fantastic weekend. So much fun was had. I can now say I have been fucked senseless by a pornstar. And of course I will be saying it. often. So get used to it. I may even get it embroidered on a t-shirt.  Had the fates not conspired against me I could have been made into a hand puppet for a woman that I would DEARLY love to play with. But with a little luck I will be able to have that particular experience in 2 months time. Fingers crossed because I have had a hard on for Coral Mallow since I first met her. YUM!!!!

I met so many new people and reconnected with so many excellent people. How wonderful it is to be part of such a fantastic community!!!!

All I can say is, is it C.O.P.E. yet?

I'm with you

To my boy~

I know today will be a hard one for you. Know that you are in my thoughts today. This to shall pass, as they say. Just breathe. It will get better.

Mistress

Fun in the Dungeon

I have given my boy an assignment to be completed by the convention he will be attending with Me. Basically what I have assigned is that he will make something for me to use on him at the convention. It doesn't matter what it is as long as he makes it himself and it is something he has been interested in or wanting to try. He is not to tell me what it is, but instead I will have him put it in a box and wrap it up for me so that I can open it like a present. I am excited to see what he comes up with. He is a handy boy who is planning to make several toys for Me and a few for him for our general play/relationship.It will be interesting to see what he comes up with.

Mistressing through a crisis

Talk about a fast paced kind of a week. So much can go wrong so quickly. And not just the things we think of as being a big deal. My car, my phone, etc. My sub recently lost one of his best friends.

When you begin a D/s relationship it is very exciting. new things to do with a new person. Everything is fresh. So many expectations. So many ideas to try out.

But once you have gotten into the relationship for a bit real life does tend to intrude on the ideally created and meticulously crafted D/s world. I've tried out some subs before that when the going got tough the sub got going. In the long run that was a good thing. It exposed those who were not in the relationship for the right reasons. Thankfully it allowed me to stop wasting my time with that type.

So when shit hit the fan so to speak recently I did harbor a little fear. Though my current sub has shown in just about every way that he is dedicated to our relationship I was still concerned that these events, especially being in such quick sequence, might send him running.

I am happy to report that he has not. With the issues that has arisen in my life he has been most helpful and willing to do whatever needed to be done, dealing well with the loss of our weekend and not pouting (another ANNOYING habit of past subs). With the death of his friend he was not afraid to tell me what he needed from me in the way of support which I, of course, freely offered.

I have had a couple of lifestyle friends email me telling me that this is the time for me to crack down on him. Turbulence is a way to strengthening the relationship. Make sure he is under my thumb, etc. I can't say I really agree with this. Though it may work for some, it isn't really my way. I am not looking for a submissive who needs to be "put in his place". I want one that knows his place. And becoming aggressively Dominant at times of chaos and loss feels to me like it exacerbate the situation.

So right or wrong that is where I am head space wise. We continue his training. He continues his journals and I am very happy that he will be able to join me at the next convention to serve me the whole weekend. I am actually very excited about this. Yes we lost our last weekend together, but the next will be one he won't forget his entire life. At least that is the way I have it planned.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Mistresses...

Will all come crashing down again and we'll all despise the other in the grandest style.

So I had a weekend of great fun structured. The couch was made up for my sub. Tasks had been prepared. The Kitchen was stocked with all the lovely food I was to have cooked for me. I had my Mistress cap on. It was going to be so fun.

But then Mistress Fate had to bitch smack me.

I picked up my sub and we headed south to the Perversion Diversion (vanilla gathering of kinky folks). We had a lot of fun playing doubles at pool with some friends. Hung out with many many very interesting people. Had so much fun. I eventually said goodbye and headed out.

Hadn't been on the road more than 2 minutes when I hear a big BANG and then we are spinning in circles. The boy in the next lane apparently hit some black ice and slide right into the side of my car which sent us into an exhibition of kenetic energy. We spun 3 times before hitting the guard rail and coming to a rest.

We are both fine, thank goodness. As my sub said it could have been much worse had there been any cars around us. But as it was there was just him and me. He was forthcoming with his information and my car was drivable just banged to hell and back.

So I went home and tried to file with his insurance company only to find out he had none. G.R.E.A.T.

So if you want to send some good vibes my way I would gratefully accept and appreciate them. Cuz this shit is crazy.

Journal

"i liked coming into the house andn being told to get on my knees right away. That is where i want to be waiting for you to need me. i felt proud when you put your collar on me, even if it was just a training collar. Everything about having your collar on made me feel good. Having to wear it to the store and wear it all the way home was a great way to show that i am yours."


An exert from my subby's journal.

Journaling

One of the cornerstones of training a sub for Me is journaling. I have My sub journal often about many various topics. My sub responds best to specific instructions so usually I provide a topic for each journal as well as bullet points of areas I would like to be covered in that entry. Sometimes however I will provide no topic or just a jumping off point and let him come up with the rest. Now granted when I give him less instruction the journal entries are not as long or complex. However it is a good test to see where My sub’s mind is. What he is thinking about.

Recently I assigned him a journal with the first sentence being “Mistress I want you to know….” With no other direction other than I want it to be personal. he immediately began asking for more clarification or guidelines, did I want it to be something kinky or straight? How personal would I like it to be? Etc. To which I replied simply that is up to you. He expressed concerns that I may be upset by what he would write to which I assured him that he should still write it and send it to Me.

I am very happy to report that he rose to the challenge quite well. I will not share what he wanted me to know as it is very personal. but that is just the point. It was personal. Very much so. I am glad to know that W/we are building a basis of trust that hopefully will serve us both.

Next training...

I have set the date for my sub to come back up to my house. It will be a bit different as it will be an overnight. He will be coming up on the 9th and going home on the 10th. I am excited to have him to myself for 2 days. So much more can get accomplished! However I am… what’s the word…. Intrigued to see how it is going to play out when my husband gets home from work.

Now my husband knows all about my sub. In fact he has supreme veto so if he doesn’t like my sub, he’s history. My husband doesn’t like sharing me with men. Well, non gay men in any case. When I first had my sub over I noticed for a few days before hand my husband’s masculinity was up and ruffled. Though he was cool with it happening he was still cautious (remember the skin suit?) and concerned for my safety. So when I asked him about an overnight I thought for sure that he would say NO! To my surprise he only thought about it for a minute or two before saying that it would be just fine. SHOCK!!! We even talked about where the sub would sit when we watch a movie that evening (we watch a lot of movies). It was a very healthy and exciting conversation. I think my husband is getting into the idea more and more which makes me very excited!

Still it will be interesting to see how it all goes down.

Disapointed...

So I’ve had my first disappointment from my sub. I suppose that isn’t too bad for almost a month in. However it was as I say, disappointing.

I assign journals to my sub. All sorts of different journals with various topics. After he came to my home and served me all day I assigned a journal to him. In the journal I wanted him to tell me his impressions of the day. How he felt about the various aspects of the day. How it affected any preconceived notions he had. How it might have strengthened his submission. You get the idea.

Now it was an awkward week for assignments. Too much going on on both of our ends. The final Christmas preparations were in full swing in both of our house holds. By Wed he had not finished buying for his 3 children and though happily I was finished by Wed even with wrapping. Anyway owing to the holiday I allowed him to wait and turn in his journal the following Monday.

In the morning he sent me his usual Good Morning Mistress txt. I asked him if he was ready to get started on his journal. he said he was. I left him to it. After noon I asked him when I should be expecting it. he told me I would have it that evening. That evening I waited and nothing came through. At a half hour till bedtime I txted and told him he had a half hour before I went to bed and if I did not have the journal I would be disappointed.

Nothing.

In the morning he apologized most profusely and told me that he had gone to a bar to watch football. I admonished him that football was not an acceptable excuse to which he agreed most profusely and has promised me never to let an assignment slip again and begged my forgiveness. he then wrote the journal I asked for and I will admit that he was very attentive to my instructions answering each point I asked him to journal about.

So in the end it was resolved but it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. Not turning things in on time is one of my pet peeves and is something I addressed at the onset. I will allow him this slip one time (though he may get a few lashes for it). But as I said, it was disappointing.

Training Day

Yesterday was divine. So divine I feel a little Bette coming on.

For those of you who may not have known I began training my subby boy yesterday.

I will admit this to you, but please keep it to yourself. I was a bit nervous. Starting out with someone new is always an anxious time. Will you click? Will it work? What if he has some weird facial tick or constantly clears his throat? What if he walks in and says something unforgivable like “G.W. RULES!!!!”? See, there are so many things to think of! Ok honestly none of that really concerns me. But there is a period of adjustment to new people. And my subby is different than anyone I’ve played with before. He’s a service submissive. Now I’ve played with a few people who identified thusly but it became apparent quiet quickly that the only service they were interested in is the service I would be doing to their naughty bits. Tie me up and get me off. Which when assumed of me, raises my ire. However my new subby seems (and it is early stages. I haven’t discounted the possibility that he could be running clever con and planning to kill me and wear me as a skin suit.) genuinely interested in serving me.

he arrived in good, if quiet spirits. As soon as we entered my house I had him kneel to remove my boots. It was amazing watching how attentive he was to each detail. Pulling up my pant leg, untying the tie, loosening the laces, and finally removing it, readjusting my pant leg, lining them up and placing them where instructed. Something so minor that I do at least once a day becomes hugely magnified when it is being done for you freely out of service. And that probably was not as significant a moment for him out of all he did during the day. But for me it was a kinky hallmark moment.

Anyway, I then took him on a tour of my house before having him strip as far as negotiations allowed and fitted him with his training collar, explaining that if we progress past the training period (I’m still being vigilant. Remember the skin suit?) he will be fitted for a proper collar. In retrospect I wish I had said a bit more. Something grander perhaps. But in the moment, seeing my collar locked into place around his neck…there was something profound in the simplicity and I held that moment.

But then I put him to work. Oh yes I did. Straight into the basement. Now I know you haven’t seen my basement. How do I know? Because if you are not my husband or my daughter you haven’t seen it. I don’t let people. Why? Because it’s a shithole. Not the space. It’s a great room with HUGE amounts of potential (read it’s going to be my playspace) but 6 years of living here (FUCK IT”S BEEN 6 YEARS!!!!) and allowing my husband near total dominion over it (he shares it with the cat) means that there was every cardboard box that had entered my home for the past 6 years stacked precariously waist high on either side of a narrow alley that led to the laundry room. Everything that couldn’t fit into a garbage bag but needed to be thrown out was scattered throughout the basement. And amidst all of that were boxes containing things precious to me. To make a long story short (TOO LATE!) it was a big job.

But my boy didn’t flinch. he just put his head down, demolished boxes and filled trash bags. I left him alone for the first hour while I cut out patterns upstairs. I used that as a kind of litmus test to see how dedicated he would be to his task. If he would find an excuse to come up every 10 minutes to ask a question or to see if I needed something. Which yes is good service; however it is not the task that was assigned which was bag up trash. It is important to me to accomplish tasks. However I fully expected to see him pop up those steps at least twice. I was pleasantly surprised that he did not come up even once. he didn’t call. he simply kept to his work and by the time I went back down an hour later he had an impressive stack of trash bags and a nearly emptied corner of the room.

I won’t bore you with details about cleaning out my basement. Instead I will say that it was a wonderful experience. Every bit of the day. My basement is piled high with trash bags. I was prepared a lovely lunch for which he sat at my feet while we ate. My laundry is done. And he got a crash course in my toy bag. Good news, he likes fire! he dealt well with the copious safe calls made by my ever vigilant mother and father. (mom called every hour, my dad every half. No skin suits on their watch!) At the end of the day when all was done and it was time to part I gave him a scarf I made for him and he was appreciative.

his next journal assignment will be to tell me how the day of service impacted him. For my part it was profound. I have been jerked around a fair bit in my life. I despise dishonesty and have encountered quite a bit of it in my hunt for a submissive. Thus far my boy has been and done exactly what he has said. From me that is high praise. I am humbled by his service and greater for it. I look forward to our next session.

But I’m like Mad Eye Moody. Constantly vigilant. If he starts trying to get me to put lotion on my skin then I am out of here.