Focus Lana! This post is about WW not your AMAZING costume! Eek! Sorry self!
Friday night I did something I haven’t done since waaaaaay back at the beginning of my public scene life. I didn’t play. I was surprised that my energy bottomed out on me. Not in the bad way! It was just a combination of lack of sleep and a truly heavy costume. Those tentacles aren’t exactly heavy in and of themselves but they aren’t light either. And there are 8 of them. Between the steel boned corset and the tentacles I couldn’t sit down so I was on my feet for over 4 hours straight. It took a lot out of me. But not in any kind of bad way, like I said. In fact it turned out to be decidedly good. I sat around with some of my kinky friends and family and talked and joked and laughed and had a generally good time. Sure I could have pushed myself and scened at least a bit that night but sitting and talking with all those lovely ladies and gentlemen helped me recharge my batteries. And I have been around the scene long enough to know the first person you have to take care of is yourself. So my Friday night was completely different than I had planned but it turned out to be a wonderful experience.
Speaking of different experiences my husband actually made a couple of play dates! As you probably know if you are at all familiar with me, my husband is rather shy when it comes to being out and about. Last year he made the decision that this was something he wanted to change. So he has been saying YES when I invite him to events. He has also accompanied me to the past 3 AIS conventions. However he has not played before. He was just too shy. He wouldn’t even let me set him on fire for goodness sake! However last convention he was forced a bit further out of his shell as I taught my Pedicure class and he was an active part of that, giving foot rubs to various people in the class. Unfortunately because he only believes in doing something properly he didn’t get a chance to get to everyone he would have liked to. That experience loosened him up and really made him see that he could do things he was comfortable with and still “scene”. So this WW he made a few dates (through me) to give some wonderful ladies foot rubs. And from what I gathered both he and his foot rub-ees had a really good time.
Sat
Sat dawned bright and early as Peach and I did our morning ritual of swimming. The water is always cold as a witch’s tit but the water helps get our joints moving and soothes aching muscles. Plus there was a FANTASTIC buffet of yummy yummy muffins to choose from on our way back to the room. Where I took a shower and fell right back to sleep. I missed the first class of the day that I had hoped to attend: Master So’N’So Kama Sutra Kink, alas, but I did wake up with enough time for me and the hubby to bust ass down to Sheryn B’s Know Better: Competent Consensual Kink.
I could probably do a whole journal entry on that class. It was one of the best classes I have attended. Although class may not be the appropriate word. Discussion is better suited to the experience. The discussion centered on personal responsibility and the role it plays in consent. It was one of the few times I wish I had internet tools available in real life because I wanted to be able to say: THIS!!!!!!! AIS provided copies of The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker to be given out and I snatched mine up. (I have only begun to read it but so far it is absolutely astounding. I find I have to slow myself way down while reading it so I can fully digest what is on the page. But that is another post for another day.) After class I ended up in a discussion about the topic that lasted for well over another hour.
I wanted to attend several other classes however my husband and I retreated to our room and….well…you know. After fulfilling our baser instincts my husband went off to dinner with the lovely Peach and co while I hosted the Queer Friendly Gathering/Meet-N-Greet. I don’t think we have ever had THAT good of a turn out! Amidst all the chatting and laughing we came up with a plan of action for some fabulous fun to come! No, I won’t tell you exactly what it is. Right now I am keeping it under my (and everyone who was there) hat. But trust that you will find out about it in due time. Mwahahaa!
Sat night I was rested, relaxed and ready to hit the ground running. I got into the Warm and Wet room about an hour after opening and didn’t leave it again until it was 20 minutes till close. I didn’t do nearly as many scenes as I would have liked but those that I did were absolutely amazing! And what is more for 2 of those scenes my husband joined me! He co-Topped with me, adding a lovely new element to the sensation play I dig so much. And judging by the reactions we got my play partners enjoyed it too! Afterward when we were snuggled up in bed he tentatively asked me if I would consider letting him help me again. I could only kiss him and say YES! A thousand times yes! I loved being able to look down and see him working some of that magic he has in his hands. We know each other so well that he could read the cues I was giving him so he could follow my lead in a way that looked effortless. I was and am so proud of him for stepping outside of his comfort zone and exploring with me. I have been waiting for this day for 5 years!
Sunday
Sunday came too early but all good things must end. Fortunately for me it isn’t really an ending. Just hitting pause. Because I know that I will see all these wonderful people again soon and we will all bask in the fabulous energy we create together! And speaking of fabulous energy… The staff dinner was amazing! So much food! So many cuddles! Happy, Happy Lana!
Many thanks to those lovely ladies who allowed me access to their gorgeous bodies! I love watching you squirm and hearing you moan and in some cases pant! I loved shooting fire balls at you and watching the fire trail across your skin! I loved the unsteady way you climbed off the table and the hugs where you melted into me! I love that my husband had to put on gloves to clean up because a couple of you left happy puddles on the table! I just love ya!
Many thanks to those 2 beautiful gals who let my husband get his feet wet! He is grateful and excited by this bold step forward and will most definitely be bugging you for another chance.
Special thanks to the magnificent DreaminEyes for the amazingly generous gift! I can’t wait to wear it out! I’d say similar about the chocolate but I have already killed that!
That being said….is it COPE yet?
HUGS!
Lana
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
Winter Wickedness Report
A couple of weekends past I was privileged to work and attend Winter Wickedness 2013. If you have never been to one of AIS’ events then you are just plain missing out. We throw one hell of a party!
Friday
I am very lucky to be a member of the AIS staff. One of my responsibilities is to host and facilitate the Friday night Meet-N-Greet social and game. Every year I try to come up with something fun and fitting with the theme. This year our theme was “Fantasies and Fairytales”. I put together a version of the “What am I?” game called “Who am I? Fairytale edition”. Basically you have a card with a fairytale character taped onto your back. You then go around to folks and ask questions until you can guess who you “are”. It was a LOT of fun! But really it was just an opportunity for me to show off the costume I have been working on for a month. (Ok, so not really but it’s nice when things work out!) When I first heard the theme my mind did not turn toward Cinderella or Snow White or any of the other heroines from the Fairytales of my youth. Instead it drifted to the villains of Fairytales. I should say The Villain. For me there is only one villain. Ursula. Sure I love Maleficent. I mean she turns into a dragon for fucks sake! How cool is that? But as cool as she is Ursula was the one I dreamed about being since I was a kid. Sure she is evil and will get her way but she does it in a way that there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! Plus she is distinctly funny (a trait Maleficent is quite deficient in). All in all, I identify with Ursula. I have wanted to make a costume for the character ever since I learned to sew. I never did because I didn’t have a reason to. Enter WW’13 when my husband told me basically to put up or shut up. So I did.
With the exception of the wedding dress my grandmother made me, I have never loved any costume or clothing piece I have ever put on the way I love this costume. It turned out almost exactly as I had imagined. I had a wig crisis, followed by a temporary hair dye crisis which forced me to abandon the white hair but in the end I don’t think it mattered one jot. I looked FANTASTIC!!! This picture just doesn’t do it justice (in my not so humble opinion) but plans are already in the works for a photo shoot so I can show off the awesomeness that is my costume. New Fetlife profile pic here I come!
Focus Lana! This post is about WW not your AMAZING costume! Eek! Sorry self!
Friday night I did something I haven’t done since waaaaaay back at the beginning of my public scene life. I didn’t play. I was surprised that my energy bottomed out on me. Not in the bad way! It was just a combination of lack of sleep and a truly heavy costume. Those tentacles aren’t exactly heavy in and of themselves but they aren’t light either. And there are 8 of them. Between the steel boned corset and the tentacles I couldn’t sit down so I was on my feet for over 4 hours straight. It took a lot out of me. But not in any kind of bad way, like I said. In fact it turned out to be decidedly good. I sat around with some of my kinky friends and family and talked and joked and laughed and had a generally good time. Sure I could have pushed myself and scened at least a bit that night but sitting and talking with all those lovely ladies and gentlemen helped me recharge my batteries. And I have been around the scene long enough to know the first person you have to take care of is yourself. So my Friday night was completely different than I had planned but it turned out to be a wonderful experience.
Speaking of different experiences my husband actually made a couple of play dates! As you probably know if you are at all familiar with me, my husband is rather shy when it comes to being out and about. Last year he made the decision that this was something he wanted to change. So he has been saying YES when I invite him to events. He has also accompanied me to the past 3 AIS conventions. However he has not played before. He was just too shy. He wouldn’t even let me set him on fire for goodness sake! However last convention he was forced a bit further out of his shell as I taught my Pedicure class and he was an active part of that, giving foot rubs to various people in the class. Unfortunately because he only believes in doing something properly he didn’t get a chance to get to everyone he would have liked to. That experience loosened him up and really made him see that he could do things he was comfortable with and still “scene”. So this WW he made a few dates (through me) to give some wonderful ladies foot rubs. And from what I gathered both he and his foot rub-ees had a really good time.
Sat
Sat dawned bright and early as Peach and I did our morning ritual of swimming. The water is always cold as a witch’s tit but the water helps get our joints moving and soothes aching muscles. Plus there was a FANTASTIC buffet of yummy yummy muffins to choose from on our way back to the room. Where I took a shower and fell right back to sleep. I missed the first class of the day that I had hoped to attend: Master So’N’So Kama Sutra Kink, alas, but I did wake up with enough time for me and the hubby to bust ass down to Sheryn B’s Know Better: Competent Consensual Kink.
I could probably do a whole journal entry on that class. It was one of the best classes I have attended. Although class may not be the appropriate word. Discussion is better suited to the experience. The discussion centered on personal responsibility and the role it plays in consent. It was one of the few times I wish I had internet tools available in real life because I wanted to be able to say: THIS!!!!!!! AIS provided copies of The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker to be given out and I snatched mine up. (I have only begun to read it but so far it is absolutely astounding. I find I have to slow myself way down while reading it so I can fully digest what is on the page. But that is another post for another day.) After class I ended up in a discussion about the topic that lasted for well over another hour.
I wanted to attend several other classes however my husband and I retreated to our room and….well…you know. After fulfilling our baser instincts my husband went off to dinner with the lovely Peach and co while I hosted the Queer Friendly Gathering/Meet-N-Greet. I don’t think we have ever had THAT good of a turn out! Amidst all the chatting and laughing we came up with a plan of action for some fabulous fun to come! No, I won’t tell you exactly what it is. Right now I am keeping it under my (and everyone who was there) hat. But trust that you will find out about it in due time. Mwahahaa!
Sat night I was rested, relaxed and ready to hit the ground running. I got into the Warm and Wet room about an hour after opening and didn’t leave it again until it was 20 minutes till close. I didn’t do nearly as many scenes as I would have liked but those that I did were absolutely amazing! And what is more for 2 of those scenes my husband joined me! He co-Topped with me, adding a lovely new element to the sensation play I dig so much. And judging by the reactions we got my play partners enjoyed it too! Afterward when we were snuggled up in bed he tentatively asked me if I would consider letting him help me again. I could only kiss him and say YES! A thousand times yes! I loved being able to look down and see him working some of that magic he has in his hands. We know each other so well that he could read the cues I was giving him so he could follow my lead in a way that looked effortless. I was and am so proud of him for stepping outside of his comfort zone and exploring with me. I have been waiting for this day for 5 years!
Sunday
Sunday came too early but all good things must end. Fortunately for me it isn’t really an ending. Just hitting pause. Because I know that I will see all these wonderful people again soon and we will all bask in the fabulous energy we create together! And speaking of fabulous energy… The staff dinner was amazing! So much food! So many cuddles! Happy, Happy Lana!
Many thanks to those lovely ladies who allowed me access to their gorgeous bodies! I love watching you squirm and hearing you moan and in some cases pant! I loved shooting fire balls at you and watching the fire trail across your skin! I loved the unsteady way you climbed off the table and the hugs where you melted into me! I love that my husband had to put on gloves to clean up because a couple of you left happy puddles on the table! I just love ya!
Many thanks to those 2 beautiful gals who let my husband get his feet wet! He is grateful and excited by this bold step forward and will most definitely be bugging you for another chance.
Special thanks to the magnificent DreaminEyes for the amazingly generous gift! I can’t wait to wear it out! I’d say similar about the chocolate but I have already killed that!
That being said….is it COPE yet?
HUGS!
Lana
Focus Lana! This post is about WW not your AMAZING costume! Eek! Sorry self!
Friday night I did something I haven’t done since waaaaaay back at the beginning of my public scene life. I didn’t play. I was surprised that my energy bottomed out on me. Not in the bad way! It was just a combination of lack of sleep and a truly heavy costume. Those tentacles aren’t exactly heavy in and of themselves but they aren’t light either. And there are 8 of them. Between the steel boned corset and the tentacles I couldn’t sit down so I was on my feet for over 4 hours straight. It took a lot out of me. But not in any kind of bad way, like I said. In fact it turned out to be decidedly good. I sat around with some of my kinky friends and family and talked and joked and laughed and had a generally good time. Sure I could have pushed myself and scened at least a bit that night but sitting and talking with all those lovely ladies and gentlemen helped me recharge my batteries. And I have been around the scene long enough to know the first person you have to take care of is yourself. So my Friday night was completely different than I had planned but it turned out to be a wonderful experience.
Speaking of different experiences my husband actually made a couple of play dates! As you probably know if you are at all familiar with me, my husband is rather shy when it comes to being out and about. Last year he made the decision that this was something he wanted to change. So he has been saying YES when I invite him to events. He has also accompanied me to the past 3 AIS conventions. However he has not played before. He was just too shy. He wouldn’t even let me set him on fire for goodness sake! However last convention he was forced a bit further out of his shell as I taught my Pedicure class and he was an active part of that, giving foot rubs to various people in the class. Unfortunately because he only believes in doing something properly he didn’t get a chance to get to everyone he would have liked to. That experience loosened him up and really made him see that he could do things he was comfortable with and still “scene”. So this WW he made a few dates (through me) to give some wonderful ladies foot rubs. And from what I gathered both he and his foot rub-ees had a really good time.
Sat
Sat dawned bright and early as Peach and I did our morning ritual of swimming. The water is always cold as a witch’s tit but the water helps get our joints moving and soothes aching muscles. Plus there was a FANTASTIC buffet of yummy yummy muffins to choose from on our way back to the room. Where I took a shower and fell right back to sleep. I missed the first class of the day that I had hoped to attend: Master So’N’So Kama Sutra Kink, alas, but I did wake up with enough time for me and the hubby to bust ass down to Sheryn B’s Know Better: Competent Consensual Kink.
I could probably do a whole journal entry on that class. It was one of the best classes I have attended. Although class may not be the appropriate word. Discussion is better suited to the experience. The discussion centered on personal responsibility and the role it plays in consent. It was one of the few times I wish I had internet tools available in real life because I wanted to be able to say: THIS!!!!!!! AIS provided copies of The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker to be given out and I snatched mine up. (I have only begun to read it but so far it is absolutely astounding. I find I have to slow myself way down while reading it so I can fully digest what is on the page. But that is another post for another day.) After class I ended up in a discussion about the topic that lasted for well over another hour.
I wanted to attend several other classes however my husband and I retreated to our room and….well…you know. After fulfilling our baser instincts my husband went off to dinner with the lovely Peach and co while I hosted the Queer Friendly Gathering/Meet-N-Greet. I don’t think we have ever had THAT good of a turn out! Amidst all the chatting and laughing we came up with a plan of action for some fabulous fun to come! No, I won’t tell you exactly what it is. Right now I am keeping it under my (and everyone who was there) hat. But trust that you will find out about it in due time. Mwahahaa!
Sat night I was rested, relaxed and ready to hit the ground running. I got into the Warm and Wet room about an hour after opening and didn’t leave it again until it was 20 minutes till close. I didn’t do nearly as many scenes as I would have liked but those that I did were absolutely amazing! And what is more for 2 of those scenes my husband joined me! He co-Topped with me, adding a lovely new element to the sensation play I dig so much. And judging by the reactions we got my play partners enjoyed it too! Afterward when we were snuggled up in bed he tentatively asked me if I would consider letting him help me again. I could only kiss him and say YES! A thousand times yes! I loved being able to look down and see him working some of that magic he has in his hands. We know each other so well that he could read the cues I was giving him so he could follow my lead in a way that looked effortless. I was and am so proud of him for stepping outside of his comfort zone and exploring with me. I have been waiting for this day for 5 years!
Sunday
Sunday came too early but all good things must end. Fortunately for me it isn’t really an ending. Just hitting pause. Because I know that I will see all these wonderful people again soon and we will all bask in the fabulous energy we create together! And speaking of fabulous energy… The staff dinner was amazing! So much food! So many cuddles! Happy, Happy Lana!
Many thanks to those lovely ladies who allowed me access to their gorgeous bodies! I love watching you squirm and hearing you moan and in some cases pant! I loved shooting fire balls at you and watching the fire trail across your skin! I loved the unsteady way you climbed off the table and the hugs where you melted into me! I love that my husband had to put on gloves to clean up because a couple of you left happy puddles on the table! I just love ya!
Many thanks to those 2 beautiful gals who let my husband get his feet wet! He is grateful and excited by this bold step forward and will most definitely be bugging you for another chance.
Special thanks to the magnificent DreaminEyes for the amazingly generous gift! I can’t wait to wear it out! I’d say similar about the chocolate but I have already killed that!
That being said….is it COPE yet?
HUGS!
Lana
Monday, December 31, 2012
Happy New Year!
Old man 2012 is about to rest his weary old head while mother nature is in contractions ready to bring forth the baby of 2013. Another year down.
2012 has been filled with all sorts of stresses and joys. My parents divorced this year after 33 years of marriage. Suddenly though not unexpectedly I became the rock of my family taking on the responsibilities of 3 households. It has been….stressful. But at the end of the day I am glad that the charade of marriage is over. The grievances and grudges they have been carrying all these years are released. Now if I could only get some forward movement on getting rid of their house I could release some of the stress I am carrying. 3 households is a lot to juggle and skilled as I am at keeping the balls in the air I would like to let some of them fall.
I ended a long term relationship. It was very hard. I have tried many times in the past only to pussy out at the last minute or to accept her back but this year I drew the line in the sand. No more. And I am sticking to it. I feel free in a way I have not in a long, long time. Now I can look forward to entering into new relationship(s) unencumbered by bullshit drama! YAY for drama-free zones!
This year was big for my daughter as well. She has been harboring a love of geology for the past several years. She can and will talk to you about the metamorphic process for hours. I find it as boring as..well…a pile of rocks but to her it is fascinating so I do everything I can to encourage it. This year for our family vacation we went to Mammoth Cave in Kentucky. It was delightful. Ok, that is a lie. It was miserable. We must have offended Thor because it rained like he had a personal vendetta against us all night every night we camped. Which meant my husband and I stayed up all night keeping the water off the roof. Everything was wet. However come morning the skies cleared and the day turned out to be beautiful (if not a bit stifling). My purpose in going camping at the cave was to do something my daughter would enjoy. What happened was that she discovered a career path. She talked to every single ranger we encountered. Every one of them was more than happy to chat about rocks and minerals to her hearts content. A couple even took her off trail. I don’t know which one it was that suggested she might want to become a Park Ranger but I would like to shake his/her hand. It lit a fire in her imagination and for the first time I saw how this obsession could become a career. And for that I am both thankful and excited.
I had set a goal for myself to finish my book this year. Unfortunatly I am not going to meet that goal. I did get more than halfway through before I decided that, given the current political situation in Egypt I would have to rewrite a large portion of it. I have worked hard to make the story as accurate and believable (for the subject matter) as I possibly can and I just could not include the current state of civil unrest in my story and make it believable. So back to the board on that. However I have already started the rewrites and I am pleased that the ideas are coming fast and freely, which makes me very happy.
I presented a class at a convention for the first time. It went very well and I got lots of great feedback. I was honored and delighted to be a part of it and I am hoping to have more opportunities to present in the future.
But enough about the past. The future is staring me right in the face. This coming year should be another fun filled ride. I don’t believe in resolutions however I do believe in ideas. So my 2013 ideas go a little something like this:
I will get back to my exercise program religiously. This every once in a while stuff is bullshit and I am over it. So back to the 2011 schedule. I can already feel my muscles thanking me.
I will work on completing my novel. Hopefully you will be getting it for Christmas next year. Fingers crossed.
I WILL get out to Portland and see my favorite people in the world. I WILL!
I will try to write some of my non-novel ideas down and finish up a lot of the writing projects that are half finished. I would like to start posting more to my blog. Perhaps even bring back Sunday Smut. I miss writing Smut.
I will NOT go crazy from having a pre-teen daughter. I WILL NOT!!!!
I will both kinky camp and family camp this summer.
I will visit the inlaws and even try to have a good time.
Above all I will remember that I am a beautiful, intelligent, vivacious woman.
I hope you have a wonderful New Year!
HUGS!
Lana
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
For Cynthia and Timothy
I just got back from a funeral. A dear friend's son has been missing since September. Monday the police found his body. It is, of course, a relief to have found him. My friend can find some closure even if she won't find answers.
I can not begin to fathom the pain she is experiencing.
I find myself bereft of words. So I will allow others to say it far better than I could.
This is "I Know Exactly What Love Is".
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Pre post apocalyptic thoughts
It’s a wonderful week for an apocalypse! That’s right, this Friday is the day that the Mayans will pull themselves out of their graves and sweep across the globe spreading death in their wake. Or if some of the local church billboards are to be believed Jesus (who apparently follows the Mayan calendar) will come to Earth on a shiny rainbow and take all the good kids up to heaven. Or, as my husband is hoping for, it’s the day that he begins his life as a Zombie Killer. Or, perhaps it is just the end of a sophisticated calendar system(What with all calendars having a beginning and an end). We will find out soon enough, won’t we? No. Ours is not to wonder why, ours is to do and/or die.
But, sitting here on the verge of something (or nothing) I find myself getting reflective. If this is the end of the world (or another Friday) what really matters? Have I done...enough. Have I accomplished enough of the desires in my heart to be able to look back on it and say ‘Yes. Yes I had a good, good life.’? It’s a hard question. What standard against which do I measure? To my in-laws standard I have certainly failed. Not enough money made and saved. To my parents standard…well they would be satisfied if I lived in a lean-to in the woods. As long as I was happy. The only standard against which I can measure the fullness of my life is against my own.
And like most things in my life, it has its’ own soundtrack. The song is “Somebody” (I believe) and is by an amazing man and a talented singer named LeRoy White. This LeRoy White http://youtu.be/gXhWvDe2s58 not those other LeRoy Whites. I couldn’t find his song on the internet but the main point is:
“At the end of my days, all I pray,
Is that I have somebody who really, really, really loves me.”
That is the standard to which I measure my life. And to that standard I am fulfilled. I am successful beyond even my own dreams.
For whatever good deed I did in my past life I was rewarded in this by finding, befriending, marrying and loving the most wonderful man in the world. It isn’t the thousands of things he does for me to show his devotion and love, it is the wonderful person he is that makes me lucky. I have never met someone like him. It is truly a privilege to share my life with him.
I have a beautiful, intelligent, funny daughter who is so much her own person at times it can be her downfall. But she is all the better for it. She is the very definition of love, loved and loving. She heals hearts and delights in all. I adore her beyond words.
I have an amazing group of friends whose friendship is built upon the solid foundation of self awareness and exploration. Not for us the mundane friendship built on small talk and platitudes. No, we’d rather cut right to the meat of the matter and run, laughing toward our bliss.
So if the close of the week were to bring me to the end of my days I know can say without hesitation that I do have somebody, many somebodies actually who do really, really, really love me. Each of which I really, really, really love in return. So bring on the apocalypse. Bring the zombies and the Mayans and the Rapture and anything else. Because I am loved. And I’ve got 2 military supply airlift boxes full of survival gear and supplies. But mostly the love thing.
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