Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
randomness of the brain
Tis the season for... seasonal depression. Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
Actually I haven't had much trouble with my depression as of late. So when it came up on me, it did it super stealthy. Ninja depression. It's not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. This is due to a couple of factors. One, no one out emotions my mom. and two, I have a much tighter grip on my depression. But oh boy, you couldn't have told me that last night when it reared it's ugly head. It sucker punched me and left me crying on the floor for the evening. Joy.
However once the tide receded I was able to see the light and make it to the surface not too worse for ware. No drowning in depression for me, thank you very much. But goodness, no more kicks in the teeth Universe, please!
I will do a really bad segway here and transition to something else that has been on my mind. Friends who suck. In the past this was one of my triggers. Not so much any more. A few years back I began weeding out the people who were not good for me. It hurt, but it hurt far less than the flagrant disregard that I was being shown. It looks as if I will have to be doing a bit more pruning. It is easier now. I have established what I want from a friendship and what I will not tolerate. Mainly I will no longer allow it to be a one way street. I have befriended users most of my life. No longer. The users must go!
Unfortunately.. or perhaps fortunately this includes someone I never thought I would have to weed out. Closer to 20 years of friendship than 10.But when time and time again I am insulted and treated like a last resort, the person that you call to bitch to when no one else will answer because they are sick to death of listening to your whining, it's time for me to reevaluate the situation. No, I will not be the person you talk to when you have no other options. No, I don't understand why you don't have the ability to ask me how I am. No, I am not content with being turned down every time I ask to get together. No, I am not content to listen to how broke you are and then read about your drunken escapades on facebook. No, I am not alright with you not even wishing my kid a happy birthday. I am just sick of it.
And I am done. Done with your bullshit. Done with you. Let's see if you even notice.
The rest of you I still love! But she can sit and spin.
Actually I haven't had much trouble with my depression as of late. So when it came up on me, it did it super stealthy. Ninja depression. It's not nearly as bad as it has been in the past. This is due to a couple of factors. One, no one out emotions my mom. and two, I have a much tighter grip on my depression. But oh boy, you couldn't have told me that last night when it reared it's ugly head. It sucker punched me and left me crying on the floor for the evening. Joy.
However once the tide receded I was able to see the light and make it to the surface not too worse for ware. No drowning in depression for me, thank you very much. But goodness, no more kicks in the teeth Universe, please!
I will do a really bad segway here and transition to something else that has been on my mind. Friends who suck. In the past this was one of my triggers. Not so much any more. A few years back I began weeding out the people who were not good for me. It hurt, but it hurt far less than the flagrant disregard that I was being shown. It looks as if I will have to be doing a bit more pruning. It is easier now. I have established what I want from a friendship and what I will not tolerate. Mainly I will no longer allow it to be a one way street. I have befriended users most of my life. No longer. The users must go!
Unfortunately.. or perhaps fortunately this includes someone I never thought I would have to weed out. Closer to 20 years of friendship than 10.But when time and time again I am insulted and treated like a last resort, the person that you call to bitch to when no one else will answer because they are sick to death of listening to your whining, it's time for me to reevaluate the situation. No, I will not be the person you talk to when you have no other options. No, I don't understand why you don't have the ability to ask me how I am. No, I am not content with being turned down every time I ask to get together. No, I am not content to listen to how broke you are and then read about your drunken escapades on facebook. No, I am not alright with you not even wishing my kid a happy birthday. I am just sick of it.
And I am done. Done with your bullshit. Done with you. Let's see if you even notice.
The rest of you I still love! But she can sit and spin.
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